The Learning Curve

fear. :-/

2011-08-18T21:43:00.000+10:00

Semester baru:

EVERYTHING IS SO HARD. I'M SCARED I WILL FAIL EVERYTHING. I'M SO DEAD. CAN I OR CAN I NOT GRADUATE THIS DECEMBER????????

K ya jak. Bye.

Angkasapuri..

2011-07-07T23:17:00.000+10:00

Assalamualaikum.. Its been too long i guess, since my last post.. Phew! Anyways, i am now back in Malaysia, but currently staying in KL coz ive gotta do my internship here (i dunno whether i already mentioned abt my internship or not tho). Ok so now doing my internship at....

*drumroll*

RTM Angkasapuri!!!!

Nyehahaha. Ok thats not a laughing matter ppl. I know for some (well a lot actually), RTM is very how to say.... "goverment-ish" to lots of ppl. Yala, ppl always say that RTM's programs are dull, uninteresting, cliche, lame compared to the private radio n tv stations (Astro, Media Prima). But yeah, i had to accept the fact that im gonna be an intern there. The reason is solely because.., it is really very nearby my house, only a few minutes drive. So for a conjested city like KL, that sort of opportunity is not to be missed. So boom! My mom has arranged for me to undergo my internship there.

I came back to KL on the 15th June.. And started my internship the next day. Bloody hell, right? Jet lag pon tak ilang! Haha. So i told them that i was told by the uni ppl that we only have to complete 160hours of internship. So equals to nearly a month la. So it was decided that im gonna do my internship from 16/6 until 17/7, which falls on a Sunday. Well, im totally fine with that, coz at least after that i can go back to Kch and spend the rest of my winter break there before i go back to Melb on the 31st July.

Ok so far.... Life's been good. Yeah it was hell here and there, with not-so-terrific so called higher authorities/bosses and the many moments of boredom when there are no more work to be done.. But other than that, it is awesome. Friendly, good-natured, fun colleagues, breakfast and lunch (and occasionally 'minum petang') rituals at the canteen, got ppl to share your dissatisfactions regarding the higher authorities (again!), the workload, the programs, the events, and just about anything that is circulating within the department (which is called 'Bahagian Perhubungan Raya' or in more familiar term, Corporate Communication) and my most favourite activity of all - accompanying the senior staff to bring around visitors from primary and secondary schools, and also IPTA and IPTS. Groups of teachers and so on are also on the list. Showing them around Anfkasapuri and watching their awed and excited faces everytime we entered studios and auditoriums and radio contys made brought good, good feelings to me. :) There's always different things happening, New things to gush and gossip about, meeting new visitors everyday and still being with the same ol' ppl.

I still have a week left of my internship. I know after this, im gonna miss that place and the ppl like hell! Weird how i thought that my life would be miserable there, before i started my internship. But now.. It seems downright awkward and sad to think that after next week, im no longer have anything to do with them and Angkasapuri anymore.. Ok thats seriously weird and heart breaking. Haih.

Anyways, thats all for now i guess. And oh, today seems to ve like a very dull and gloomy day, until something happened just when i finished work today. My heart just seems lighter and content, and happy. Like, really senyum2-lebar-while-walking-to-the-car and sequeling-so-loud-just-as-i-got-in-car kibda thing. Thank you to hat person for made me feel like this. Another reason why i am so reluctant to leave. Huhuhu. :)

Chow!

5 Wisdoms.

2011-06-11T19:33:00.000+10:00

Hey. Just wanted to share something that I read in my friend's blog. :)

The Ideal Muslimah: 5 Wisdoms.

1. If you are right, then there is no need to get angry. And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.

2. Patience with family is love. Patience with others is respect. Patience with self is confidence.

3. Never think hard about past, it brings tears. Don't think more about future, it brings fears. Live this moment with a smile, it brings cheers.

4. Every test in our life makes us bitter or better. Every problem comes to make us or break us. Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious.

5. Search a beautiful heart, not a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.

Nice, isn't it? <3

Dari Malaysia Ke Melbourne :D

2011-06-11T07:02:00.000+10:00

Hello! We managed to do another video! (My roommate, Shayra and I)

For those who have watched the first video, WELL DONE!

Hahaha.

So for the second one, we made it simply because one of our friends here in Melbourne has requested for us to do a video about being away from our home country. Sad.

So please do enjoy another amateur attempt of making a video. :)

could it be?

2011-06-11T06:56:00.000+10:00

How hard I tried, I just can't run away from you. It's tiring, it's exhausting, it's sickening, but thrilling at the same time.

Is it really love?

Oh I don't know. I'm scared to really think in depth about it. I don't want to think too much, because I know thinking too much would cost me big time.

But still, is it REALLY love?

And I don't really have the bloody answer.

~~Or I just won't admit it.~~

Bye.

First attempt :)

2011-06-10T03:46:00.000+10:00

Presenting.. Our first ever youtube video!! By Shayra and I :D

Hahahaha! This is what you get out of boredom, stressed by exams and assignments and just out of plain curiosity of what it feels like to record a video and share it to others.

And what we said in the video are the things that we always thought of and talked about between ourselves.

So feel free to watch the video, and sorry for the poor quality. And it was very impromptu and unscripted at all. We just speak out the things that were in our minds that time haha!

Cheers!

I've had enough.

2011-06-09T19:59:00.000+10:00

I don't understand why certain people can be so annoying. I'm tired of it.. I don't want to do this anymore. If I can't stand you now, how can I brace myself to bear with you until God knows when?

I'm through with this once and for all.

June ini..

2011-06-07T16:02:00.000+10:00

Bulan Jun adalah bulan yang membunuh. Bulan ini membunuhku (sila refer lagu D'Masiv-Cinta Ini Membunuhku and lagukan ayat ya ngn tune lagu ya). Seriously ku madah bulan tok nang mbunoh. Masok2 jak bulan Jun tok tek, ku asa macam ada something2 sik kenak. Macam ada significant di situ, selain daripada hari Gawai (1 Jun), birthday Shayra (5 June), assignments due (1, 3, 10, 17 Jun), aku balit Malaysia for the winter break (15 Jun), aku start internship di RTM Teman Setia Anda huahua (20 Jun). Jadi apa lagik yang ada pada bulan Jun tok yang molah ku asa something2? Apaaaa???

Kakyaaa baruk aku teringat. Baruk tok tekla aku teringat, alu gago nak nulis blog, bila nangga tarikh ritok tek. 7 Jun. Kakya sik lamak gk 10 Jun nak. Alu KLMJ sekejap aku tek. Tedah jaik ati ku ji.. Padu tek ngenang kesah lamak. 7 Jun adalah supposedly anniversary aku ngan 'si mantan' aku bernama MKI atau Mr K. Sik payahlah disebut glak nama penuh, initial saja sudeyh. Nya dahpun selamat bergelar suami orang since end of 2009. Jaik ati sik kau nenga kesah aku tok ji? Mun sik jaik ati ng kau sekda ati kali haha!

Salu juaklah ku sebut pasal MKI tok dlm blog aku suatu ketika dahulu.. Masa aku gk parah ati berdarah dolok. Nang malaaa eh.. Mun takorg pndey2 carik, adalah nemu salah silah kesah mekduak dari start begerek smpey ujong nyawa hbgn mekduak. Nang tragis ji.. Bagi akulah. Mun dah hbgn sik direstui org tua, sikpat mdh apa.. Demi jaga ati org tua, rela aku plh apa jak. Tapi kakya dirik aku merana sampey bertahun2. Tapi sekpa. Aku dah lamak dh dpt accept apa yang terjadi tok semenjak ku tauk nya dah berbini, nya mpun gk ya mdh ngn aku nya dh nikah. Knk sik side epek ko ji mun nenga ex kau yg maseh ko sanjung2 msg kau cmya ji? Mesti kau pun side epek gil babs nak. Sekda angin, sekda ribut, nya mdh kau yg nya dh nikah. Maka kau tek agk berhrp akan ada sinar cahaya kebahagiaan (WORD!) antara kau ngn nya utk bersatu agik smpey jinjang pelamin n anak cucu. Tapi dah ko nenga nya tek dah nikah.. Apa gk dpt kau plh? Redha jaklah.. Sikkan nak ngaro rumah tangga org mdh kau sik puas ati nk. Aku sik se'low' ya ji.. Sik2.. Sesyg2 aku ngn nya, sekhal la ku lepaskan jaklah nya.. Ne nak molah? Dah nya prefer janda ya gk lebeh dr anak dara kdk aku tok (WORD!).

Anyways, dh kak 7 Jun tok molah ku asa something2.. Kakya 10 Jun gk molah ku asa KLMJ glak ji.. Coz tarikh yalah mekduak break smpey rembah-rembeh aek mata bertangisan dalam kereta. Nang sedeh ku nangga mukanya ji.. Aku agk dpt tahan dikitlah, nya nang sik tertahan2 nangis bila ku pdh ku sikpat nak teruskan agk ngn nya.. Knk sik lebor laor ati kau nangga org laki disyg kau separuh mati nangis run2 dpn kau ji? Tapi ku sikpat pdh apa.. Nang sadis bena asa time ya. Ku asa aku manusia paling kejam di dunia bila nak melepas nya. Tapi yalah.. Dah ku pdh nak, aku tok nang bena2 sik pandey mun dah org tua sik suka ngan pilihan aku, mun dah point out apa yg sik dikenan ngn org laki dimaok aku. Aku nang sik pandey ji.. Aku turut ajak. Walaupun aku asa time ya MKI adalah my everything.. Aku dpt bygkan future aku ngan nya ji. Which is sik mudah utk ku asa benda ya ngn mana2 ex aku before ya kecuali my first boyfriend time aku sekolah yang bernama Z. Nama gk first love tek konon.. Malalah miker we are meant to be together, lagik2 mekduak ndak alah2 break return break return for 5 years. 5 years ji.. P ahernya sik ke sine juak. Eh dahlah, malas ku nak ngenang si Z ya, nya pun ku dgr bok nikah juak end of last year ka bila..

So gialah tek ji. Nang sik ku nafikan, dari mekduak bgerek 7 Disember 2007 sampeylah tepaksa break 10 Jun 2008, aku nang asa on top of the world abis. Ya bok org pdh.. Begerek sik ingat dunia. Haa aku lah ya ji. Time ya aku nang asa aku dah nemu my match, my soulmate, my jodoh. Jodoh ji?? Aku nang pecayak bena ngan benda ya time ya. Sbb ya aku ssh bena nak let go of him.. Dah lekak aku break ngan nya, nya ssh melepas aku. Tapi dah kak a few months nya start cooled off, aku gk tekejar2 ngan nya. Time ya nang dh sik diingat agk la restu sik restu kah org tua ngan mekduak. Aku sik duli.. Yang penting aku mok nya ajak. Ku berharap gla ngn nya wlupun ku asa nya mok sik mok jak nak melayan aku, but still nya pdh nya still syg aku but he was hurt because aku sggup nak ptskan hbgn ya.. Aku ngakuk aku salah. P cmne ji? Aku sik tauk nk buktikan cmne ngn nya yg aku was truly sorry and i wouldnt hurt him again ever. Tapi sik dpt ji.. Agk2 mekduak jauh. Mun dh sama Kch dah lmk ku aro nya setiap ari ji. To show how sorry I am.. Tapi lom lmk ji, lom smpey ujong tahun pun, ku dengar desas desus kaba angin yg nya dah ada pengganti aku. Yahhh knk sik moha sa nyawa kau ji. Bukan aku yg investigate ah, dak org sekeliling aku pdh. Bila ku tanyak nya, nya gk pdh org pdh benda sik betol ngn aku. Org gk salah ji.. Nya tek innocent. Ok ah, aku terimak lah alasan nya walau nya nganok relative ku mpun yg nya ng sik on good terms dari dolok. Tapi dah lamak2 org mala pdh benda yg sama ji. And dengan sikapnya yg on off jak bekontek ngan aku.. Aku dpt asa ya bena.

Aku nang sikpat lupak ngan apa dipdhnya ngn aku dolok ji.. Time aku nak mulang balit cincin yang nya berik ngan aku. Aku sik ingat berapa aribulan ya.. Tapi lepas mekduak break lah, a few days or weeks lepas ya. Aku nemunya sekejap. Nang sik terurus upanya. Ng kesian bena aku ngga nya ji.. Nang betangisan jak nya ngn aku. Aku pun nangis nangga nya nangis. Sik smpey ati ji.. Dah ya, alulah kua kata2.. Nya sikkan lupakkan aku, ttp sygkan aku, sikkan carik pengganti aku, akan ttp ada bila aku perlu ngn nya, nombor sikkan betukar sak aku sng crk nya, and yg paling best apa ji? Nya sikkan kawen ji.. Mls nak miker hal kawen. Adoh mak.. Mun dpt ku record, nang ku record ji. P time ya siklah tepiker nak merecord nak.. Mlsku ngenang. Kata2 yalah dipegang ku selamak hampir 2 tahun aku ngejar n nggunya ji.. Alih2 end of 2009, nya mdh aku nya nikah ngn org lain. Sekpalah.. Ne nak molah.. Kawen juak ko tek.. Sekpa, dah jodoh ko ngan janda anak sorg ya ne nak molah.. Siap mak aku diseruk time reception masa bulan 1 2010 ji.. Aku di KL time ya, tgh prepare nak g Melbourne. Mun sik tek dah ku gago pegi juak ngn makku ji.. Sik melepas peluang.. Kakya sidaknya amik2 gmbr and tunjok ngan aku gmbr nya besanding tek.. Surprisingly aku dah sekda asa apa ji.. Ng dah redha mena aku time ya.. Aku terimak kenyataan akhirnya Alhamdulillah..

Aihh alu pjg jadi kesah ku tek.. Kira nak post pendek jak p alu melalut.. So yalah tek, bulan Jun tok nang bulan yg menyedehkan sebenanya bagi aku.. Wlupun dah 3 tahun dh berlalu.. Agk juak side epek sedikit sebanyak. Whatever it is, ku harap nya ttp bahagia di samping bini and anak tirinya wlupun ku nenga mcm2 juak kesah nya ya.. Maknya pun da juak crita2 ngn aku mcm2 hal sidak ya sik knk jak.. Sooo.. Malaslah ku nak miker, ku just hanya mampu dengar and senyum jak, mls nak komen membatu api glak. Biarlah..

Anyways, have a good month of June to you guys! Can't wait to be home actually.. Nak makan nyaman2 hehehe cheers!

A Birthday Wish for Her! :)

2011-06-05T02:01:00.001+10:00

Today is the 5th of June. So what is happening on that date? What is it? What is it again???

Ohhh it is the birthday of one person that is close to me. My partner in crime. Shahirah Ayuni Jaafar Thani :) Click here to read her blog :)

For those who still doesn't know (I've mentioned her, like, millions of times already here), she's my roommate here in Melbourne. We've been together (amboi macam a couple plak) for a year and a half. As roommates lah! So today she turns 22. Aww dah besar :') hahahaha! We held a very low key birthday celebration, small and intimate, just the 7 of us. Brought her to dinner, and the others surprised her with a cake when we arrived home. Love seeing her happy face. Happy Birthday cha! May Allah swt bless you always and grant you the happiness and success for the rest of your life.. Good luck with your exams! Xoxo ;)

The birthday girl with her birthday cake


Those who were involved in the 'intimate' celebration hehe

And finally.. A picture of me and the birthday girl! :)

To Shayra,

Hope you had fun.. I know it is just a small one, but I hope that it meant so much to you okay? As I said before, present you nanti kat Malaysia I bagi.. Sekarang takde budget doeee.. Hahahaha! Happy Birthday again cha!! Love you :)

bugging me

2011-06-01T02:12:00.000+10:00

I feel like something is bugging me so much. There is a certain heaviness in my heart right now and I can't figure out why. I feel like crying til there are no more tears to shed, shouting like I'm the only one in the world and no one will hear me, screaming til my voice gone hoarse, running away til I'm halfway across the world, throwing things on the wall and not giving a damn about their worth, slapping myself so hard until my cheeks gone all red and sore.. All sorts of terrible feelings inside me. All in one. And I don't think it is the PMS acting out. Nor it is the results of my lack of commitment towards my assignments.

I'm getting so lazy day by day. No amount of drugs, coffee, junk food or anything can help me this time. I feel so demotivated. So careless. So ignorant. So irresponsible. I know I'm an ass when it comes to responsibility and commitment in education. But seriously? I feel like I'm such a wreck now. There are times where I don't give a shit about what I'm doing now and repeatedly wishing that I'm doing something else right now. Something that interests me. Something that I'm actually good at. Something that.. I'm also not sure what.

And there are also times when I feel that strange urge of loneliness. Even though I'm surrounded by lovely people, I can't help but dread the unpleasant feeling of loneliness deep inside of me. Take now, for example. When I started to feel the heaviness in my heart, loneliness will slowly creep into me as well. And I hate it. I hate it a lot. Makes me think too much. Hence, wanting to do things mentioned in the first paragraph.

My roommate said that I think too much. Do I? I don't know. Most probably. But I can't help but think. And wonder. That's all. Please let this heaviness in my heart be gone. I don't like this at all....

Awesome sial!

2011-05-31T21:26:00.000+10:00

Caution: This post may contain inappropriate language. Please bear with it. Thank you.

One word: Fucking AWESOMEEE! (Okay that's two actually).

What am I talking about here? Well here it is.

Courtesy of here

For someone who has just seen the first film a few months ago (yes, call me lame, outdated, ketinggalan zaman.. I don't freakin care haha), I'm very satisfied because I managed to watch the sequel as early as possible this time haha. It was totally more awesome than the first one, with more and more trouble and challenges been thrown in their way. Seriously, get your asses to your nearest cinema quick, coz it was plainly LEGENDARY. That was the mother of all hangovers people.. So bad. Haha.

Anyways, a brief storyline of the film that I took from here:

Right after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Phil, Stu, Alan, and Doug jet to Thailand for Stu's wedding. Stu's plan for a subdued pre-wedding brunch, however, goes seriously awry.

It's a seriously fucked up movie man. Perfect for chilling out with your mates, right after lunch and before a coffee session at Starbucks, sitting outside in the bloody cold weather without any jackets on because the sun was shining so brightly during the morning til afternoon, like what us girls did today.

p/s: Bradley Cooper is soo heavenly.. His piercing blue eyes, his wavy dirty blonde nearly brown hair, and don't get me started on his buff body.. Die die die.

K bye.

Another failed attempt! Grrrr

2011-05-30T18:45:00.001+10:00

I am so disappointed today. And NOT just because of waking up so late (I woke up at nearly half past 3 in the afternoon for God sake, and I was supposed to go to the bank today but due to waking up so effin late, I hate to cancel huh!), it is because of my failed attempt of cooking ayam masak merah today. :(

As usual, I will cook on Mondays and my housemates will cook on the other weekdays of the week except Friday. So when it comes to Sunday, I will always have the hard time on wondering and thinking of what should I cook for tomorrow. And it doesn't help it despite the fact that I would sometimes (okay, make it lots of times) forgot that the next day would be Monday and I was supposed to cook on that day. And hence, the thinking cap is on again to work on what should I cook for dinner..

And yeah, I didn't have that much time to put on my so called thinking cap today as for waking up so late. After rushing for a shower, I entered the kitchen at nearly 4pm and started to dice onions and garlic and vegetables and such. I even brought my laptop to the kitchen to refer to the recipe of Ayam Masak Merah, which was chosen in a rush and because the dish is one of my favourite dishes in the world and I am craving for it as well. I intend on finish cooking at 5pm because my roommate is fasting today so the break fast is at 5.20 or something, so I wanted to finish before then.

But to make the long story short, it failed. This is the first time I tried my hands on spices and put it in my cooking, and I think that I put too much soy sauce in it and maybe needed just a bit more of blended dried chillies and less onions. Well, damage has been done. Housemates were very sweet and kind about it so I'm very grateful for that haha. But still..

This is NOT the masak merah that I cooked. It is just some random photo that I Googled just now. The colour of the masak merah that I cooked just now was so much darker than this. Most probably the result of too much soy sauce. -_-

I'm craving for ayam masak merah pengilan style! Please?

That's a relief.. I guess

2011-05-30T03:53:00.000+10:00

As I reflected back what Shayra and I talked about during dinner tonight, I found that I needed to put them up in writing so that I could read again and again about one of the things that I said to her that truly gave me a slap of reality. Not really a slap lah, but a pinch will do.

Okay, our conversation started as her talking about this one guy that we both knew. The guy is simply amazing, enough said. He is perfect in each way and for us, the best way to describe him is "a husband material". Yes, the guy is that good, even though he is still quite young, just a year older than us both.

So you see, after we talked about her situation with the previous men in her life, like how she said about watching one by one of her friends settling down with their partners got her thinking; when will be her turn to find someone and to settle down like them? And she asked me whether I feel pressured about that too or not. So I answered straight away as "No". Yes, I maybe have a teeny bit feelings of wanting to be married and such, but not at all pressured to do so just because a few of my friends of the same age are settling down. That's what I thought at that very moment when she inquired me about it.

So yeah, that conversation went on until when we entered our room after dinner. While we're relaxing ourselves and all, I said something that I don't even know whether I meant to say it out loud or not: "Don't you think that we are getting so.. Mature? Because we are now trying to find someone that is a 'husband-material' and not just someone to fool around with anymore.." and when I realized I blurted those words out, I truthfully freaked out a bit.

Why oh why am I including myself in that statement when I was supposed to address Shayra only?? Am I getting mature too because I've had enough of fooling around and will settle down with someone who I thought is a 'husband-material'??

Where did my 'not ready for marriage at all', 'don't know whether to settle down or not', 'scared of trusting someone and to have him as a husband', 'not ready to take on the responsibility and challenge to be someone's wife', 'not confident in finding a suitable man for me' and all those other so-called 'principles' that I have all these while?

Man, I am normal after all. Well, at least that explains something. Quite a relief, to tell you the truth. I thought I will not going to give marriage a thought at all. Hahaha.

And that's the end of an irrelevant post. Chow.

Birthday Boy! :p

2011-05-30T03:25:00.002+10:00

Umm yeah I know 29th May has passed already. But whatever, better late than never..

Happy Birthday Mohd Hafizi! May this year brings more happiness and success to you, amin..

Dah umo 27 ya.. Bila gik ktk mok kawen? Hahaha :p

Thanks for visiting me in Melbourne. See you anytime soon in Kuching Insyaallah. :) <3

I took this picture using his DSLR! And thank God it was not blurry like the others -_-"

p/s: Please eat MORE & MORE.. Kurus gilak! Polah badan ketul2 sikit like you told me that day haha

Capital R for Rockin Roommate! :)

2011-05-28T15:36:00.001+10:00

Friends are hard to find in this world. True friends, friends for life, you name it.. It's hard to really get to know someone and to determine that he or she is the person that you can count on in hardships and happiness. It was one hell of a ride, for searching good friends. While I'm in Melbourne since last year, I've found new friends, definitely. But the ones that I could really count on? That's priceless, and I've found a few of them. I'm thankful for their presence in my life, I really do. I know I burst out at times and being emotional.. And I am so sorry for being so messed up. But I know I can always rely upon these honourable friends that I am so glad to get to know with. And the main person that I wanted to acknowledge is.. Here goes. None other than my friend, ally, and most of all, my roommate, Shahirah Ayuni, or commonly known as Shayra. She rocked my world, that's for sure. Apart from sharing the same name 'Shahirah', I feel like we have lots of other things in common too. She's extremely helpful and hardworking and a good cook as well! Her dish 'ayam madu' is seriously to die for, you guys should have tried it for yourself :)

But the one thing that I am so proud and amazed about her is that she is one of toughest person I know. She is stronger than she looks from the outside, and that is one really intelligent girl. She never gives up no matter what challenges in life that are thrown at her. Yes, I've seen her crumbled at times, cried her eyes out because of some matters.. But she stood up again with head held high and faced the world with a smile on her face. I can't think of how many times I've secretly (now it's not a secret anymore though :p ) that I wished that I can be as strong as she is. I don't know how many times I've complained about how tough my assignments is and how I can't deal with of it anymore but she just keeps on giving me the support for me to go along with it til the end. She is an electrical engineering student for God's sake, but she is one of the most fun person that I've known for my whole life!

There are too much things about this girl that I can describe but it won't be enough in just a blog post.. What I can say is that, I'm truly thankful for being given a chance to get to know her, and to be her roommate for the past one and a half years now. Now that I'm going to graduate soon in the end of the year (InsyaAllah), I'll sure be missing her presence like hell. That's why we're planning the spend the rest of the year as fully as possible.

The reason why I'm writing this post about her is because.. I just feel like to. I know she mentioned a couple of times about me in her blog but I never get the chance to do so too. So now, I'm writing this down for her and hope that she knows how great and awesome a roommate and friend that she had been for me all these while. Cha, I love you roomie and I'm sorry if I ever hurt you in any ways that I didn't intend too. I hope I can be a better friend for you, like how you are to me. Thanks for everything!

Sincerely with lots and lots of love,
Farah @ Parrot

PMS always makes me so emotional and teary eyed.. 0_0

Love you long time roommate!

freaking out.

2011-05-22T18:05:00.003+10:00

Updates:

H went back to Malaysia this morning after a week-long vacation here.
My workload of assignments are killing me.
I still have mountains of assignments and the due dates are all so near to each other.
Kill me now coz I'm dying and I need much much more time to finish all the bloody work!
FML.

Simply Meaningful.

2011-05-14T16:06:00.004+10:00

Something that I came across in my friend's blog..

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you" - Bob Marley.

Wise choice of words. Something to be instilled in our minds and hearts, mine particularly. :)

My Everything!

2011-05-09T00:39:00.006+10:00

Sorry for the late post.. Its already past midnight here in Melbourne.. But I think its not too late for me to say..

Happy Mother's Day to my mama.. I love you so much!

Hopefully my gift to her would arrive safely soon.. Its just a modest and very humble gift but I hope she'll love it.. I miss you mama! Can't wait to be home..

Ambition with or without s.

2011-05-01T17:37:00.007+10:00

Ambitions. What are they exactly?

I remember filling out those so called "biography" or "biodata" books when I was in primary school. You know, the ones that (most) school girls (and I don't know about boys lah kan) had so that their classmates (and even teachers too!) can fill out about themselves, right up to their favourite foods, pastimes, nicknames and so on and so forth. Or maybe that was a trend that happened in my school only. I'm not sure about that tho.

So anyway, I had quite a hard time in deciding what to put under the "ambition/s" column. Not just one time, probably in each of the times that I had to write in those books (mine included). I remember when my mind went blank and furrowed my eyebrows and forehead went all wrinkled while thinking what to write about my ambition. Should I put only one? Or two? Or maybe three? Or can I just skip it? But no.. As I flip through the previous pages, I saw many types of works and jobs that were written in each of the pages. Doctor, lawyer, architect, police, teacher, pilot, accountant, you know.. The usual stuff that kids answered when adults asked them about who they wanted to be when they grow up. So I flipped back to my own page and continued to stare at it again. Waiting for the right answer to pop into my head. And yes, it happened every time I had to fill out those books and when it came to the "ambitions" part.

So in order to not hogging the books to myself and made the others who haven't written their details yet in them, I quickly scribbled "Architect" as my ambition. There were also times when I put two options, "Architect" and "Lawyer". And maybe I did wrote "Doctor" once I guess. The reason why I put "architect" was for the fact that I love to draw since I was very little. I love it when I got my hands on pieces of papers and pencils. I could draw all day long, ranging from houses, flowers, and of course, my favourite of all - humans. I love to draw people's face, and to style their hair, and their outfits.. Oh yes, I could draw until I was getting tired of it and went to play with some Barbie dolls or watch cartoons instead. So because of that, my brother said that I can be an architect because of my passion in drawing. Holding on to what he said, I made up my so-called child mind of becoming an architect and actually believed that my very amature and minimum drawings can help me in becoming an architect one day. It was simply that easy, in my mind.

But still, it was tough to fill in what is my ambition. And so after what my brother said, that's why I started to fill in of being an architect in those books. For the sake of filling SOMETHING there and not letting it went bare. I don't want to look like I have no ambitions in life when I grow up, not when my other friends seemed so sure of themselves in believing of what they would do in the future.

But as I grew up and entered high school, things started to change. I noticed that I don't draw that much anymore, and my passion slowly shifted to writing. Yes I started to write since I was in primary school, maybe age 10 or 11. I again remember about dreaming of publishing a novel, maybe in Malay or English; it depends. I actually had started to write a novel when I was as young as aged 10; but it was never finished. I never told anyone about it when I started writing; only my best friend at that time knew about it. She knew about my passion in writing, and she encouraged me by offering to read each of my short stories and gave comments about it. I'm not sure whether I ever showed her my draft of the so called novel that I wrote; I don't even remember the title. I started on writing on notepads because I haven't had any access to the home computer just yet. But when I entered high school, maybe around Form 1 I guess, the old computer was placed in my room so that was when I started to compile my novel in the computer and typed in a few short stories as well. That time, my close circle of friends in my class already knew about my writings and they also gave their support by reading the short stories that I wrote. When I was in Form 2, God knows what made me to write a short story regarding on what happened to our gang; my friends asked me to write about one of our friends because there were a few things that we were not fond of about her that time; and in order to let her realize about what she has done, I wrote something very similar to us but with different names of course. Then it got published in the school's renowned club's newsletter but thank god I was being anonymous, I seriously doubt that my piece of writing would be published in the newsletter and everyone can read it!

So yeah, my passion in writing went on for several years and in 2005, when I was in Form 4, I learned on how to blog in Friendster blog. So it that's when my passion to blog has bloomed and my "novel" was officially terminated, mainly for the fact that the computer had crashed and all the files were gone. Yeap, all my earlier writings and amateur start-up pieces in becoming a writer had vanished. I was devastated, but well. Things happened.

While filling out the forms and applications and whatnots in high school, I knew that I had only one aim: I want to become a journalist. I want to be able to go to different places, to explore and to write. I loved watching journalists in events and functions; their part seem small, but yet again they were as important as the VIPs and guests in there. Without them, they would be no stories to tell, no stories to be published, so you get what I mean? Their pieces of writings are important to everyone, to convey information and messages to the masses. That's how powerful a writing is. So yes, that's what I wanted to do in life.

And I chose to do Mass Communication for my diploma. I messed up my SPM; due to taking science stream when I know for certain that I'm all about the arts stream. Well, again, things happened. So did quite okay for it, but then when I did my internship in one of the publishing companies in Kuching in the Business Development Department and not in editorial. But at that time.. I sort of get the idea that my writing is not powerful enough. I am nowhere to become a renowned journalist. I was scared, I admit that. Too much expectations. The writings and whatnots that I was so proud of during my school days? The English and BM essays and stories that I was so keen on writing.. They were nothing compared to the real thing. So I got cold feet. I realized I didn't want to pursue in the career of being a journalist. I was scared, really scared..

So now, I'm doing Communication degree, majoring in Public Relations. So what's my aim now? What's my true ambition? I'm not sure if I will end up in the PR field. So if not then, what would I do for a living? Man this is so hard. The word 'ambition' is just too complex. It is still so vague to me even though I'm already 22 years old and I still don't know what am I going to do with my life. I realized that I don't have an aim, it keeps on changing with the years that went by. Yes, truly I'm still scared of the future. Of what I would become, and whether or not I can succeed..

So.. What does ambition means again? I still don't have the answer for that.

Easter break!

2011-04-22T11:59:00.003+10:00

Everything happened for a reason. Maybe this is for the best. I am no match for you, as you are not for me. Let bygone be bygone. I'm getting tired of it...

Anyways, enough with all the relationship drama, I'm over that (hopefully!). Okay so Easter break already started. It is Good Friday today, and we're going to have a week-long holidays. I'm going to Brisbane early tomorrow morning for 5 days, and it will be a blast for me again, definitely. Looking forward to see my friends there as always. Haha.

As for now, nothing much going on. Lazying around in the house, sleeping eating movie marathon (in that order). I am too freaking lazy even before the break starts. Omaigod.. This semester passed without me knowing it. More than half of the semester has already gone! Wow. And I didn't feel like I'm doing anything much (in terms of education and uni stuff. Hehe). That's just how sad and pathetic I am this semester. Damn this.

A friend of mine went back to Kuching yesterday for the holidays. I envy him so freaking much - I miss home as well! He went back because his sister has delivered a cute baby boy a few days ago, so he was anxious to see his new nephew. I'm happy for them. I've known him and the family for many years now; so they are close to my heart as well (and because one of the family members is also one of my best friends). But anyhow, I soooo can't wait to go home as well (probably during the winter break; if not, I'll only going back to home during Raya time ONLY because my sister's wedding will takes place on the 4th of the Raya).

So that's all for now I guess. I just woke up and feels like writing some crap on my long-abandoned blog. Gonna shower after this and make myself a decent lunch (which usually consists of rice with fried egg/nuggets. Typical 'nasi orang bujang' wahahaha). So long now folks!

Sunday post.

2011-04-03T16:23:00.003+10:00

I'm bored. And its cold. And I have a mountain of workload waiting for me. And my boyfriend just woke up and maybe went for a shower or something so he's not WhatsApp-ing me now. And someone here is talking to her boyfriend on the phone. And I want to watch a movie (again!) outside but don't know which movie should I watch and should or should I NOT watch a movie again today. I'm full but I'm certain that I'll get hungry again very soon. And did I mention about my gigantic pile of assignments waiting for me?

I hate being a student. And I miss home. But I love it being here in Melbourne with friends. But again, I hate being a student. How?

Stupid random rant on a Sunday.

nvr ending.

2011-03-13T01:59:00.002+11:00

Should I or should I not stay?

Even if I'm unhappy at times.. Always feeling so troublesome, so suffocated, just to make someone happy? Even though I'm not doing my best at it?

Questions after questions after questions..

Should I stay or should I leave?

Never ending questions. *sigh*

Its a sad sad situation

2011-02-22T20:23:00.002+11:00

Hard to describe how I'm feeling right now. Sad? Depressed? I don't know.

I'm longing to go home. To my family. Something will be happening later tonight and I'm not even there to witness it, to share the happiness, to experience it myself.

And the messages from my mum, sister and brother in wishing that I was there too doesn't make it any easier. I wish I was there as well.

Hmmm..

hurmm.

2011-02-21T01:25:00.002+11:00

Will people still change even after they promised they will always stay the same and never will change?

Well, I don't believe that. People will certainly change. Promises made saying that they would never do are just a bunch of crap.

I know I'm not perfect. I'm not the best. I have my flaws. I have my bad sides as well as some good sides. I know I'm not your top priority. I know I'm not THAT important to you, in your life. I know I'm not always on your mind. I know at times you are so pissed off with me, with my behaviour.

But as much as you want me to understand you, please do understand me too. The distance is hard enough for us to endure; don't make it any harder.

You made me fall in love with you. So don't make me fall out of it.

work work work!

2011-02-19T03:10:00.002+11:00

Rigghhttt. So it's harder than I thought. Applied for an internship position at a PR company 2 days ago (or was it 3 days ago?), got a reply from the person that night, asking for my resume and when will I be able to meet her for coffee; to chat about the position, then sent my resume the next day and told her that I'll be able to meet her at any time and been waiting anxiously for her reply again.. Til now.

And now I feel like a loser. Macam sik dapat jak. Sigh. Damn it. I really thought I had a shot at that time. Urrrghhh~

It's 3 am and I'm browsing through websites to find a part time job. Hahaha. Tonight I suddenly feel like so eager to get a job. To experience what does it feels like to apply for one, and to be interviewed/meet up/casual chit chat with the boss/supervisor, to be accepted for the position, to start doing work/chores/responsibilities that had to be done day after day after day (or shift after shift/hours that suit the class timetable) and to get your salary out of it. All from your hard work.

I want to know how it feels like.

Of course I had my own share of work experiences before. But only during the internship in my diploma years and working part time at my mum's office. That's it. How sad. Sheeeshh.

So that explains why the sudden burst of wanting to have a job of my own. Be it a small job, at a grocery store or something. That will do. It's all about the experience, you see.

Oh, and also for the extra pocket money of course. Haha.

But anyhow, hope I can apply for other places for internship. Oh this sucks!

Okay am sleepy now. My Goddd it's already 3.30am now.

Good night world!

8 Facts. :)

2011-02-16T20:02:00.004+11:00

I came across some very interesting facts.. Seemed like a waste not to share this with people out there because somehow, some of them are strangely accurate (in my perspective anyways). Huhu. So here it is. (It is in BM by the way, and all of them were NOT written by me, they are purely cut and paste from somewhere).

Fakta:

1. Kajian otak manusia menunjukkan bahawa jika sesorang melihat dan merenung gambar orang yang disayanginya dalam tempoh yang lama, ia akan meransang bahagian ‘caudate’ otak – bahagian yang menghasilkan rasa kemahuan yang kuat (craving).

2. Lelaki yang mencium isterinya di pagi hari dikatakan akan hidup 5 tahun lebih lama daripada lelaki yang tidak melakukannya. ( Ape lagi, ciumlah isteri anda atau sekadar pelukan manja pun ok)

3. 2 per 3 orang mengatakan bahawa mereka jatuh cinta kepada seseorang yang mereka kenal lama berbanding dengan seseorang yang mereka baru kenal.(Selebihnya cinta pandang pertama kot)

4. 43% wanita tidak suka lelaki menulis ‘love’ atau ‘cinta’ di atas kad,email dan sms melainkan kata-kata tersebut disertakan dengan komitmen. (Nampaknya kaum hawa memandang serius terhadap kata-kata cinta)

5. Seseorang yang baru jatuh cinta dan dilamun cinta akan mengeluarkan hormon serotonin yang sedikit, jumlahnya seperti tahap kandungan hormon orang yang dilanda penyakit obsesi terlampau. Sebab tu orang yang dilamun cinta memang kelihatan seperti orang gila :)

6. Mengikut kajian Dr. Helen Fisher dari Rutgers University, penulis buku ‘Why We Love, apabila seseorang baru berpisah (break up), dia akan berasa semakin sayang terhadap bekas pasangannya. Bahagian otak yang membuat kita rasa gembira terus aktif pada ketika ini. (Sebab tu lah kebanyakan pasangan yang baru berpisah tak boleh tahan perasaan sayang dan rindu sewaktu mereka masih bersama dulu)

7. Mengikut teori matematik, seseorang seharusnya bercinta/couple dengan sedozen orang sebelum menemui pasangan yang boleh dijadikan pasangan hidup sejati. (Teori matematik je pon, sukati andalah nak ikut ke tak)

8. Ini akan mengejutkan anda : Cinta yang bahagia akan membuatkan kedua-dua lelaki dan wanita menjadi gembira. Semakin kuat komitmen mereka terhadap hubungan, semakin bertambah gembira mereka.

So think back carefully boys and girls, were these theories and facts applicable in your love lives? Your daily lives? :) And does any of them made you say "Oh yes, it happened to me too!" or "This is awesome, it just shows how I felt this whole time" or "Wahh these facts really helped me; I never thought of it that way" or just simply "This is bullshit man, what sort of crap is this? This is useless!" - Well, I rest my case. Haha. I'm just here to share what seemed interesting to me. Hehe.

Tata. :)

catching up!

2011-02-16T01:30:00.002+11:00

I feel like writing something but I just don't know what to write. Ever came across that feeling?

I am actually feeling very bored now. Been catching up on my favourite tv series for the last few hours but the website has finally decided to kick me away. They only permitted only a few hours of viewing per day I guess. Andd I failed to finish both of the latest GG episodes, only managed to watch halfway respectively. Guess I'll have to continue watching them tomorrow. But I did managed to watch 90210's latest episodes! So at least I'm partially content. And I just can't effing wait for the next one! :D

And I had my power nap so now I cannot say that I'm sleepy. A bit dizzy yes. Let's just hope I'll finally can tore myself from the laptop soon enough and settle myself in bed after this. Haha.

Good night!

2 months and counting.

2011-02-13T21:11:00.006+11:00

Today is our 2 months' anniversary. Or should I call it monthsary? Is there even such a word? Haha. Anyways, yes, may our relationship can go on further from here. I know we had a beautiful start and a rocky journey after that (which I admit the "rocky" part was always caused by me; I made it clear that I'm not the easiest person to live with right?), and we stumbled upon some troubles along the way, but Alhamdulillah we managed to overcome those troubles so far, thanks to your rationality and patience towards me.

I may have been indifferent towards you lately, and I'm sorry about that. I'll make it up to you. You're still my dearest, and will always be like that for as long as it takes.

This has always been my fav picture of us.

I love you.

strange.

2011-02-12T21:45:00.002+11:00

Manusia memang takkan pernah puas. That's a phrase that is commonly known among us. I think. Humans will never be satisfied with what they have. They will eventually wanted more, and different from before. The things that they wished hard for but never seem to expect that they're going to have it, and when they actually did, it turns out that they wanted something different after all. Or something more than that. Something better, perhaps.

As for me now. No, I don't wish for something different or better to happen to me now. I'm happy with where I am right now. It seems like I have all those that made me feel, well, content. And I should be satisfied.

But wrong. That doesn't feel right.

There are times when I feel so empty. It is simply an indescribable feeling. I've started having these sort of feelings since.. When? For a couple of years now? One year? Or for the last 6 months? I'm not so sure about that.. But yes. That feeling of emptiness. Which bothers me much. But there's nothing that I can do about it, I see. Not even having on-top-of-the-world kind of happy moments can do any wonders with this strange feeling of mine. Weird, but true.

Maybe the heart is never going to be whole again. Maybe it is permanently damaged. Who knows? Maybe that explains the emptiness. Because it already has a whole in it. A big, giant hole, with cracks and edges in it.

Hopefully it still can be fixed before its too late. Hurm.

sorry and thanks.

2011-02-11T10:58:00.004+11:00

Bjalan kaki di pasar tamu,
Sambil berjalan mencari teman,
Walau jauh beribu batu,
Hilang dmata dihati jangan.

Nyaman benar makan jambu,
Lepas makan nulis cek,
Iboh riso dgn ragu,
Cinta kitak ttp d ati kamek

Those were the "pantun"/riddles taken from my boyfriend's blog, dedicated to me. He raised his concern about me due to my previous post and told me that he is afraid of losing me. For I am "his first love, and always going to be the last one", and so he said.

Sorry for making you feel worried. Really, that's not my intention. I admit that I'm scared of falling in love again. Giving a chance to someone new in my life. I'm scared of giving my all to you, my whole heart and soul to you, for I'm sooo terrified that you're going to break my heart and leave me and failed to keep your promises like what I had to face before this.

And I know you said that not all men are the same. I know that. And I hope I can believe that too. Sorry for not making much effort to you and our relationship for the past few days. Kepala serabut sekarang. I hope I can manage myself and my feelings better after this.

Sorry again. And thanks for being there.

love is just one messy thing to have.

2011-02-10T11:29:00.003+11:00

Did you ever wonder about what real love feels like? Or do you ever experienced the feelings of really deeply being in love with your significant other? When the world spins around you and stuff happens around you and you didn't give a damn as long as that someone is with you all the time.. Yeah. That's all that matters.

Love. What more can I say? To say it out loud brings waves of emotions to me. I always believe in love. Who doesn't? Love is not only between one person to another. Love is universal. Love is general. Love is full of perspectives. Love doesn't make judgment. When you're in love, you are now holding a powerful force on yourself. You should be proud. You are able to feel that great emotions of loving someone or something else. May it be your love to God, to your family, your friends, your spouse, fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, pets, belongings, assets.. So you see, it's universal.

But now, I would like to talk about love towards a person. I'm a girl, you see, and I'm straight. So my love interest would definitely be a guy. When talking about love, yes, I've experienced it. For quite a number of times, in fact. But out of all relationships, there were 3 of them who gave me the biggest impact of all. I was really in love that time. Even though I was quite young at that time (The first of the 3 happened when I was 13; which is my first love, the other one was when I was 16, and another happened nearly 2 months before I became 19 years old).

I know I was a teenager back them, happened before I entered my 20s.. But for sure, I've felt real love. And I learned how to be in love. I learned how to appreciate the person who cares for me. I learned how to respect them, for those 3 were older than me. I really fell in love with them, undeniably in love. When it ended, I felt like the world shattered around me. I felt like I was the most foolish person in the world for giving out my heart to that person, and in the end, my heart was broken into pieces. Sure, the relationships did not end up because of them. Yes, admittedly my first love cheated on me when I was 14. And then we had a series of on/off relationships for a few years after that because we were each others first loves after all, so it was hard to let go, and even harder to resist and not to rekindle the relationship between us.

As for the other two? Honestly, I broke up the relationship with both of them. Because of family matters. As much as I didn't want to do it, as I know my world would never be the same without them, I had to. And it was even harder for the last one, as I felt that it was my first love all over again. He had been perfect in my eyes, I might say. I loved him too much. Yes, too much. I never felt that way before. It was even mightier and greater than the other two, and can even beat what I felt when I experienced my first love. Yes, it was that big of a deal. I was deeply in love that time. It was the best 6 months in my life.. Seriously. *sigh*

But yes, I had to let go of him. I don't know how much tears I've shed because of him. For the next couple of years, I had no one else on my mind except him. That's how great the impact of him to me. But sadly.. He got married after a year plus after our break up. Well, nevermind. I moved on shortly after that. I'm proud of myself for that. It was a wake up call for me. If he can move on and married someone else even though he promised and swears that he would never find a replacement for me and would always love me and would never marry? Why should I still be hopelessly in love with him right? Alhamdulillah.

But I admit, it was still not that easy. There are times when I would still think back about those moments with him. And still have a small part of regret in me for letting him go in the first place. But then, I would think of what he did to me after the break up. How I practically begged him to take me back. How I endlessly told him that I love him so much. And how he lied to me countless times, telling me that there were no one else but me. Giving me hopes of us being together again. But they were all lies. And that would make me feel a bit better of myself and think that maybe its better this way. There's a reason for everything that happened right?

And now.. Someone had entered my life again recently. I don't know what to expect, I don't know what to feel, and I seriously don't know if I can give my best to that someone. I gave my all to those people years ago; and I'm not sure if I can gather up my courage and effort to do it again. Yes, he made me happy. He cheered me up. He's there when I need him. He gave me advices for the right things. But can I be the best for him again? There are times when I just wanted to give up on love. Yes, love sucks big time sometimes. There are just no guarantee that love can lasts forever. Well, lets just hope it can.

I envy those people who can be happy together for so many years, and ended up their relationships with marriage. I want that too, somehow. But I don't know the path on keeping your relationship on the right track, with the right attitude, with the right feelings. I still hope I'm not too late to experience that again. I don't know if I can find the replacement for my last love. But I can hope and pray that I can still find the one right? So is the question is; is the person in my life now the One for me? Well, if he sticks around long enough and can bear with my unpredictable attitude, can accept me good and bad, and be with me through thick and thin.. I'll know that he's the one for me Insyaallah. Just be patient with me, if you are being sincere enough to be with me, and to love me.

And that's the end of my longer-that-life post. Xoxo.

pictures. enough said.

2011-02-07T17:28:00.018+11:00

Too lazy to put any captions to the pictures. And only managed to put only a small portions of the pictures in here. Again, blame the laziness. Hoho.

So I'm back here againn.

2011-02-06T22:39:00.003+11:00

So its February now. So many things happened in the last 2 weeks, and I've just turned 22. Eh the bomb ke? Taklah.

But the truth is, I can't say that this is the worst birthday ever, but it certainly wasn't the best one though. Why? Coz something happened on the night I turned 22, just when the clock strike to 12am. I swear, I would never ever ever forget about that particular night, ever. But then it turned out fine, much better than I expected. Thank you. Thank you indeed. :)

And the following night! My dear family decided to throw me a small, intimate surprise dinner. I thought we were only gonna grab a regular dinner by our own, but then I was surprised to see my housemates and a few friends there as well, waiting for me with a cake, a few cute pink heart-shaped balloons and a (pink!) box of gift from my lovely roommate. And oh yeah, not to mention, I was given another surprise as well. A wonderful camera that I wanted to possess ever since I gave it a try before coming back to Melbourne. Haha. Thanks so much everyone. That means a whole lot to me. Everything was perfect. :)

And what else ha? Oh yeah. My family just left Melbourne this morning. Aww gonna miss them so much lah. It was a wonderful 9-days holiday with them (and 5 days with my sister; she had to go back early coz of work commitment). Will be meeting them again in June (confident kannn dapat balik! Harharhar). :)

And to top it all, before June, I just can't wait for May to come. Becauseeee.. That would be another special moment for me. Nyeh nyeh. What is it? Alaaa something2 lah! Hahaha! (Okay lame) :D

Now, back to reality. Old life in Melbourne. But for the time being, there's a fine feline named Gizmo in the house. The housemates are taking care of him for a friend who is still in Malaysia for the summer holidays. While playing and spending time with Gizmo, it made me realize that I miss having cats and kittens around. I grew up in a household full of cats til I was in college. So yes. I'm a sucker for felines. (Or "pusak", as we Sarawakians call it).

Enough already, pictures later yeah.

Pos Laju ke Lembab? :p

2011-01-28T00:21:00.003+11:00

Well, that's just it. The parcel never came. Pos Laju/Pos Express was lying. There's no such thing as "Dijamin Sampai Esok". Syg, please sue them. :p

Oh well. It can be passed on someone I know that will be coming home to Malaysia for a short break at the end of Feb. So I can still have my (belated) birthday present with me in Melbourne. Its just that I'll have to wait for just a while (Ohh okay, another whole month++) until I can get hold on the present. At least I already know what it is. Hahaha.

Thanks my dear for the present. Even though you just knew about my birthday a few days ago, you quickly searched for something to be given to me and sent it all the way from Bintulu to KL. But I keep having the instinct that the parcel wouldn't arrive on time. And it really did not came on time. See? I told you so mister! Haha.

Anyways, thanks again, its the thought and the effort that counts. You're the best! Imissyouuu <3

p/s: Will be flying off to Melbourne tomorrow afternoon.. Farewell, people! :)

this is so random but..

2011-01-27T04:36:00.006+11:00

I went to the salon at BSC yesterday (its already 2.30am so its a new day now right? Hehe) to "repair" my pathetic lion hair. After I did my first washing, suddenly my mum seemed to be quite alert and craning her neck to see past me, to the end of the row, a few seats away from us. I tried to turn my head to face her but I couldn't for my hair was being blow-dried by 2 of the salon people. Then she tried to whisper about the person at the end of the row but my mum wasn't good in whispering for she tend to say it out loud anyway.

So Kak San also tried telling me but the hair dryers were being so noisy so it was hard for me to hear them! Instead, Kak San typed it in her phone and showed me. "Nurul Syuhada". And a few minutes later, my mum sent me an actual sms, "Nurul Syuhada bekas gerek dr faiz". Yohh, dh jak sanggup hantar sms maka di sebelah jak. Hahaha. And for those of you who have no clue on who the heck is she, she's one of TV3's hosts. And was said to be having a relationship with Dr Faiz. And please don't say that you don't have a clue on who's Dr Faiz too. He was selected as one of two final candidates to undergo astronaut training, along with Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor.

Anyways, after the stylist/assistant to the stylist or whatever finished applying some sort of cream to my hair and waited besides me for it to dry off or something, I heard someone called out to my direction.

"Adik.. Adik"

But I didn't wear my spectacles at that time, and was kinda sleepy so I just mind my own self and stare at my reflection on the mirror in front of me.

"Adik.. Adik"

I thought that person was calling out for the salon girl besides me. But then she called me and nodded off towards the end of the row; so that Nurulshuhada was actually talking to me but I thought she was calling someone else. With my blur sight (I didn't thought of putting on my specs; instead I squinted my eyes to see her with hope that my vision would be clear. Cheh.

"Adik.. Adik ada bawak charger tak? Adik ada charger tak?" while holding up a white BlackBerry, if I'm not mistaken.

"Err.. Takde.. Tak bawak" I answered while squinting. "Sorry.." I whispered to myself.

"Okay takpe.." She answered good naturedly.

Then my mum and Kak San came along from the toilet and sat beside me.

So moral of the story..

1- She's really pretty, seeing her in real life was sort of like watching her in tv.

Taken from: Source

2- She's well-spoken, hearing her calling me "adik" was good; god knows how many people had called me "kakak" in shops or anywhere I go and the ones calling me "adik" can be counted by a single hand. I'm not kidding you. And it was really irritating. Haha.

3- My mum and Kak San were continuously amused that her hair was real and she was not wearing any wigs after all, not like lots of other celebrities out there (famous AND infamous)

4- Since when did she and Mejar Dr Faiz Khaleed were not together anymore????

Taken from: Source

5- Actually, I had a crush on Mejar Dr Faiz for quite some time back then. While everyone was busy talking and fussing about Dr Sheikh Muszaphar, I had my eyes on the other one, the more down-to-earth and humble one. Hihihi. So that's why I envied Nurulshuhada for a bit at the time. Stupid right. Yes I know. Hahahaa.

Taken from: Source

And oh yeah, hooray for me coz my flu and sore throat and coughing are getting worst than yesterday eh the day before. Mannnn runny nose is so not good!

Random right? I'd told you from the title that this is going to be the most random post of all. Haha. Bye.

you're a fellow blogger now!

2011-01-26T00:27:00.002+11:00

This is sick mann. Woke up this morning with a feckin sore throat. Damnnn I don't like this at all! Bila nak pegi2 somewhere, tauk adalah nak demam lah, apalah. Grrrr this is no funnn! Please don't let me be having a fever or cold or coughing by the time I go back to Melbourne this Friday. And to be unwell on my birthday this Sunday? Again, no funnnn! :p

Okay, on a different note, I would like to say a warm welcome to someone for starting up his own blog last night! Yeahh after my sayang asked me again and again about my blog's url for he wanted to check out what's on my blog, I finally couldn't avoid it any longer and gave out to him. And the result? He expressed his own interest to start up his own blog too! Well done hubby, I'm proud of you! Hehe.

But now that you will regularly check out my blog, I supposed I have to limit myself from saying inappropriate and out-of-the-line things now, isn't it? Hahahaha. No lah kidding! Of course I will always be me and I'll still can say what I wanted to say isn't it? Now what is the purpose of our own blogs if we have to barricade ourselves from saying the stuff that we wanted to blurt out but couldn't? Nyehehe.

Anyways, have a good night's rest everyone ! :)

p/s: syg, I'll be waiting for "it"! Hehe <3

ILY in 100 languages. :)

2011-01-24T18:08:00.005+11:00

While I browsed the Net for some *cough* matters *cough cough*, I stumbled upon this wonderful thing. Okayyy finee actually I was looking for the correct spelling for Je T'aime, which meant "I Love You" in French. Yes, I'm so into French right now, and it all started with my dearest who taught me bits and pieces of the French language, which to me is the sexiest language ever. Hahaa. So I'm determined to slowly learn French over the Internet (with the help of Guru Google. Haha). So here it is, How to say I Love You in 100 different languages :)

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege

Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

So be creative! Get up and get going and Say "I Love You" to someone in more than one language! :D

(Source: click here!)

miss you always!

2011-01-24T17:42:00.005+11:00

First Date :)

Mohd Hafizi and I ;)

Loving, caring and ngegeh.

Those are a few out of the many reasons why I love you.

From 13.12.10 til the end of our lifetime, Insyaallah. xoxo!

a few more dayssss

2011-01-24T17:02:00.002+11:00

Okay, I have another 4 more days left. And then I'll fly all the way to Melbourne again. This time, with my family along. Gonna meet my wonderful housemates again, the house, the room, the courtyard, and my bed! Awww. Rindu paduuu tekkk. Haha. Not long now. Not long. Hehe.

But at the same time, how I wish that I can be in Malaysia all the time. To be in Kuching, specifically. I know I know, maybe some of you starting to get tired of me whining about not leaving Kuching and Kuching is the best place in the whole world and I can't wait to be back in Kuching and everything. Because Kuching is truly the best place to live! :D

While it excites me much coz my family is going to be with me on my birthday, plus my housemates and friends in Melbourne (coz I'm in Melbourne by the time of my birthday), it kinda sucks too coz my besties and boyfriend are not going to be with me on that day. Sedihhh baiiiii. :(

My first birthday with boyfie and I'm going to be able to celebrate it with him. And I can't be with him too for his birthday in May. Aiseyyy. Although distance sucks big time, but I have to be patient. Come faster June! I can't waittttt to be back in Kuching and KL! Lots of plans are made with sayang and OKN babes. Miss you guys real much.

Okay let me write more later. Ciao!

countdown to 2011!

2010-12-27T15:49:00.003+11:00

Date: 27th December 2010.
Day: Monday.
Time: 12.50pm.
Location: Andalucia, KL.

Maybe it's still not too late for me to wish all Christians a joyful Christmas, I'm such a bad friend for not able to text or write in FB to wish Merry Christmas my friends who celebrated Christmas.. Huhh. I'm sorry. And again, hope you guys had a blast on your Christmas breaks. :)

Anywayssss. I'm back in KL again the last 19th December. And guess what? I'll be heading to Kuching again tomorrow morning! Gonna board the damn early 8.15am flight coz its the only flight available to Kuching tomorrow, and it is sinfully cheap for the fact that it is on MAS Airlines. Thank you, Christmas deal (Eh ada kena mengenakah? Haha). That's one great thing about the end of the year. Everything is C.H.E.A.P.! Hahahaha (okay enoughlah gila. Haha).

Been coughing like hell for the past 1 week plus. I finished up a coughing syrup in only 2-3 days and it didn't make any difference to my coughing, and I think it made things worse I guess. Then we got another coughing syrup prescribed by my mum's doctor. FYI, I am soooo not a fan of medicines in the form of liquid, I would prefer taking a handful of pills and tablets rather than a small teaspoon of syrup.

................

Time: 1.27pm.

I'm back! Sorry, was having my lunch for a bit. Haha. Anyhow, about the medicine, yupp the new coughing medicine was great I guess, each time after taking 15ml of those, along with two panadols and a glass of Redoxon, I'm going to be so drunk and drowsy after nearly half an hour and slept the whole day and night. Yes, the medicine was proven to be very affective and after a few days taking the medicine, I think my coughing is getting better bit by bit. Haha. This is the result of going out from early morning and only be coming back home nearly midnight everyday for 3 weeks, for going out and having fun and also been working my ass off at my mum's office for a week before going back to KL. Back to KL=Hello fever! Owhh dislike.

And yes, a few days ago mum suddenly asked me to browse for cheap tickets online for Kak San and I, coz she said she wanted to go back to Kuching. Ohh yess! Just what I wanted. Thanks mama. You seemed to be reading my mind, its as if you know that I still need more time to spend in Kuching hehe.. So after less than an hour of extreme searches on MAS and Airasia websites, Thank goodness for the cheap return tickets on MAS. And tomorrow, Kuching here I come. :D

Oh yes, yesterday I went out with Faz and Aki, two out of 9 besties from high school. We went to the Curve, and spent nearly half an hour to find a parking space alone! Damn it, everywhere is so packed these days, especially in KL. Huhh. Okay, after we found that treasured parking space, we chose to have lunch at Waroeng Penyet (I miss the ayam penyet! And I think the sambal was extra spicy yesterday; I haven't been to that place for so long, it seemed that the spiciness of the sambal was superbly enhanced). Then we decided to kill the time by watching a movie, and Tron Legacy was the only movie that suits the time. The results? It was fine, but I got a headache after the movie ended, maybe it was because of the shiny-shiny attires and grids and lines and whatnots in the movie. Oh, not to mention the super-fast movements of the characters going here and there with the impressive-looking motorbikes and planes and etc etc. Haha.

Oh man, what exactly was I intend on writing in here? Actually, nothing much.. I miss writing, that's all. Been ignoring that guilty pleasure of mine for so long. Otak dah berkarat, jari dah kerasss. Hahahaha! Anyways, wishing all of you a happy new year 2011 (which is only a few days away, I'm sooo excited and I don't even know why!), may the new year brings more joy, happiness and success to us. As for me?

"I hope that my happiness now is somehow permanent. Not lasted only for a few months or a few years.. But til the end. Forever. Amin.." :)

Ciao people!

Time: 1.55pm.

alone time.

2010-12-09T18:13:00.005+11:00

Yesterday sucks big time.

Felt major pissed off with one friend.

And the movie that i watched yesterday was nothing out of ordinary. Quite boring.

All in all, had good good times with besties everyday. I feel like getting out of the house everyday and can't seem to stay home more than a few hours. Is that normal?

Hopefully the days ahead will be more glorious for me. The weather and my inner soul and feelings shared the same shade of gray nowadays.

Oh yeah, and thanks to those who are kind enough to do some blog walking here. And to that anonymous someone who commented on mixing bm ang english in my blog, well, so what? It's my blog anyways. Not yours, not anyone else's, but mine. I'll blog whatever things I wanted to blog about, either in bm or english or swk malay or be it french thai mandarin iban language. So take it or leave it okay?

Hurmmm. Sorry, was feeling quite emotional. Anyways, I really thank those who appeared in the chatbox in here. Sorry I'm quite a bore nowadays. Internet connection at my home in Kuching sucks big time and I can't seem to be connected to the wireless connection at home, but it works out okay on my mom's laptop. And I'm in no mood whatsoever to ask for help from anyone who's tech savvy enough to fix the configuration on my laptop. And now thank God for the wireless at Starbucks.

And yes, I'm having my own alone time, strolling around, drinking coffee, eating cakes, typing furiously on my laptop, and gonna butt off after this to watch a movie. On my own. I'm more comfortable like this if I'm feeling realllyyyy down and depressed. So don't bother me pls. Hehe.

Cheers!

tiba2 jak nak.

2010-10-24T14:58:00.002+11:00

I was browsing some blogs just now. Tetiba..

Terdetik di hatiku. "Oi ku rasa ingga!"

Ya jaklah tek.

Bye.

i'm good at being unproductive.

2010-10-23T02:04:00.004+11:00

Saturday, 23rd October 2010, 2.07am

I woke up from my slumber around 1230am. Yes, I slept very early, on the floor, with my pillow and blanket, beside my roommate. Yes, we slept because we were so pissed and tired with the slow internet connection on our iphones that made it hard for us to access Godfinger, the online game that we got from AppStore. It is very addictive, mind you.

Yes, we were pissed because we couldn't play a game. Oh god.

And because we were both so full from the fried kuetiaw and keropok that we had from a very late lunch (4 or 5pm?) AND eating the same thing for dinner not long after that, at 8 pm. Yes, we like to eat and eat and eat.

But being fast asleep after eating is not good. At all.

But anyways, we fell asleep around 10pm perhaps? And I think it started to rain outside (thank God for the rain because it was sooooo hot today) and I was awake around 12.30am.

And now I'm pissed at myself. Not because of the internet connection anymore (after I woke up, I straight away logged into my beloved game for a bit nyehehehe). But because of my (very) unproductive day.

I didn't do ANY single work yesterday (Friday). OMG.

And the final assignment is due next Wednesday and I haven't started anything yet. Congratulations to myself.

Maybe I should start doing it now instead of writing in this blog about me not doing any work yada yada.

Cheers.

questions & regrets

2010-10-18T23:19:00.003+11:00

I know I shouldn't have said this. But I just have to.

I wish I am not what I've become today.

I feel so bad for sounding so effin ungrateful. Yes, I admit, there are a lot of things that I really regret of doing. I'm surprised at myself; when I get older, I tend to question more and more about my life and myself.

"Why I did that?"

"Why I did this?"

"Why didn't I think of that before?"

"What made me chose to do that?"

"What have I become today?"

"If I chose not to do that, would I be different from myself at this present moment?"

And so on and so forth.

No one forced me to be what I am today. Absolutely no one. Its my own choice, my own decisions, my own shoes to fill. So I am blaming no one. No one but myself.

I know I'm no angel. I'm not good. But I supposed I'm not that evil either. But there are times, you know, when I want to be so carefree and have total freedom for myself. Not having a care in the world. Do things my way and not giving a damn to what people would say about me.

But I know that would never happen.

True, I envy people who chose the right pathways. Right, doesn't necessarily meant the correct way. The true, guided way. No I never said that. I mean, the right pathways for them, what their hearts said to go to. The right ways to be happy and honest with themselves with no regrets whatsoever.

Again, how I wished I chose my own (right) pathway before this.

I guess I just haven't live life to the fullest yet. Maybe I've been lying to myself for the past years. Keep lying and lying and lying til now, I've started questioning myself non-stop about myself.

Maybe I still don't really know myself well. Even though I've been living on this earth for 21 years.

And I don't know when these questions and regrets would end. Damn.

Aaakulahh sang mantan~

2010-09-20T19:40:00.002+10:00

Aku nk pegi area Bimmers dekat umah dpn sekolah PJ ya.. Aku dengan sapa kah time ya, ngn Kak Santi ka or aku sorang.. Tujuan tek nak pegi opis mama atas kdey pui ya.. Okay.. Pegilah aku tek, drive kereta dari umah.. Bila aku nak melimpas skolah PJ, nak belok ke kiri masok area shophouse ya, ya aku terkezuttt yang amat bila aku toleh sebelah kanan.. Tauk sik apa ku tangga?

Ada sebuah kereta diparking rah parking dpn skolah PJ ya.. Kancil putih.. Aku siklah side epek bila nangga kancil putih, lewat agk aku.. Tapi mslhnya, kancil ya num plat nya Q*****.. Adoh2 kata ku tek.. Padu kereta org semandin aku yg cukup bersusah payah setengah mati untuk aku lupakkan and get over it and move on dolok.. Sang mantan kata kumpulan Nidji.. Ex boyfriend kata 'ang moh' (orang puteh)..

Alu san abis aku tek.. Ngga gk sekilas org dlm ya si lelaki itu dan bininya.. Adoh2 gk kataku.. Apa juak kejadian tang ada betemu time tok.. Apa juak dipolah sidak tok ke Kch indah.. Lewat gk sekda tmpt lain nak ilek selain dr dkt2 umah aku.. Ng geram atiku time ya.. Side epek abis2 la aku tek.. Ne ndak dah dkt 2tahun dah aku sik nemunya.. Sik tauk kaba berita since ku tauk nya dah kawen.. Haha..

Masa ya aku just masok jak simpang, pusing shophouse ya alu parking dpn kdey Pui.. Bila aku nak kua keta, alulah aku ngga si Kancil ya tek padu parking dpn Bimmers, kira sik jaoh juakla.. Ilek jak aku tek.. Nyaduak udah dolok kua dr keta, masok Bimmers, amik tmpt dudok nk di luar kdey ya dikit.. So aku bejalanlah nak ke kdey Pui, aku ngganya, coz nya ngadap ke lua bah kiranya.. Alulah mekduak tek bertangga sama dirik, then aku alu plh sik nmpk, but aku prasan yang mukanya mcm tkejut, then nya pun plh mcm sik nmpk juak kakya..

So aku mcm polah sik tauk jakla, aku pun pegi nait tangga nak ke opis makku sambil aku ngereco dkpun.. Ya ng mixed feelings abisla masa ya.. Asa nak nangis da juak.. Asa nak nerais ada juak.. Ng sik betol.. Haha.. And then..

Pooffff~ Alu bnda ya berenti sia jak.. Padu tek aku mimpi duhal.. Yohh real abis asa mimpi ya.. Tulah juak, pa knkkah tang ada mimpi kdk ya, maka sekda pun nak ingat nya.. Angollll.. K bye.

murtad and beautiful Islam..

2010-08-27T08:17:00.006+10:00

Isu murtad actually scares me.

Kan memang dah lama isu murtad tgh hangat diperkatakan kat Malaysia. But I'm surprised that it is still on-going. Two nights ago while I was studying for my test for the next day, I decided to take a break and logged on to Facebook. There in news feed, someone posted a YouTube video about "jawapan balas kepada Benjamin Stephen" or lebih kurang macam tu la. Persoalannya, siapa Benjamin Stephen? Itu yang aku lebih interested in. So aku tryla cari dekat YouTube..

Rupa-rupanya Benjamin Stephen tu seorang paderi yang bagi ceramah/berdakwah di salah sebuah gereja di Kuching. Dia bersunggguh-sungguh menyampaikan dakwah about Christian being a much better religion than Islam. He talked bad about Al-Quran and the Arabic language used in it, and about Prophet Muhammad SAW. How dare he said that our beloved and much respected Prophet just pandai "cakap serupa bikin"? Kurang ajar.

Anyway, the reason for the preaching was to openly inviting Malays to convert into Christianity, that's why bersungguh-sungguh memburukkan Islam supaya mengaburi minda orang Islam yang iman tengah goyah-goyah sikit disebabkan konflik hidup diorang sendiri. And the thing that amazed me was when Benjamin Stephen recited a piece of recitation from Al-Quran (which I forgot the name of the recitation) which meant 'perhiasan'/'decoration. Memang perfect gila dengan tajwid dan idgham sekali masa dia baca ayat Al-Quran tu. So it made me think, is he also a Christian-converted Malay? Itu saya tidak tauuu..

It made me wonder; why would anyone possibly considering of throwing away Islam and converted into other religions? I also came across a video in YouTube about Hasnah, who was once a Muslim (but an unpracticed one) and converted into Christianity when she was studying in the States. She said she grew up in a household whom father was a gambler and mother was an alcoholic. So she wasn't being taught of Islamic teachings since she was little. She studied hard at school because she wanted to go away from the terrible household and managed to get a scholarship to study in a uni in the States. From there, she started to befriend someone who was the President of the Christian Association or something, so day by day she was influenced by the friend and she later converted into Christianity and was really happy for it.

Iman yang goyah boleh membuatkan terkeluar dari agama Islam dan mengikuti agama lain. Something that I never thought would happen since I was little, yang taboo for me. Memang tak boleh terima je kalau Melayu bukan Islam. Macam di Indonesia tu lain lah kan. Kalau di Malaysia ni, memang peliklah. Tapi itulah hakikatnya, semakin hari semakin banyak yang murtad. Nauzubillah.

And it made me realized that I have not been a good Muslim so far in my life. I wasted a lot of my time on stupid stuffs, benda-benda yang tak ada benifit, yang tak mendatangkan kebaikan, yang memudaratkan. I made a whole lot of mistakes in the past that I hope can be forgiven by Allah SWT. I admit that I am ashamed of my past, and constantly wishing that it would be different after all, and wishing that I could be a better person while growing up and become the person that I am today. But no, as much as I wanted it to, I can't rewrite the history of my life, nor can I take back what I did.

I believe that it is not too late to learn and practice to be nearer to the Creator and to strengthen our faith to our religion and make it part of our lives. I pray that I can be a better Muslim, and when the time comes for me to leave this world, may I be prepared for it. Amin. :)

al-kisah bersahur

2010-08-19T06:37:00.009+10:00

Alhamdulillah, bermula lagi satu hari baru dalam bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ni (chewahh mcm kuliah subuh plak aku nih hihi). Ni dh pkl 6.38am, nanti ade kelas pkl 9.30am jadi eloklah aku berjaga je, kang kalo tdo mmg sah bangun pkl12pm, naya je kalau miss kelas, kalau miss lecture masih takpe lagi. Hehehe. ;)

Anyway, hari ni macam hari ni dalam sejarah jugaklah buat aku. Bukannye sejarah yang happening sangat-sangat la, aku tau hari ni pagi lagi kot, baru nak bermula, tapi sebok je nak ade hari ni dalam sejarah kan. Tapi tu la hakikatnye. Hehe.
Okay, nak dijadikan cerita, seperti biasalah kalau dalam bulan puasa, mestilah sahur kan. Aku rasalah, sepanjang pengalaman aku berpuasa nih, bila dh besar panjang begini, aku tak miss sahur. Because kan, dlm mindset aku, kalau tak sahur confirm akan lapar dengan cepatnye. Dahlah kalau sahur kat rumah aku kat Kuching or KL skalipun, sahur macam orang berbuka kot. Selera memang terbukak luas eventhough sblm tu liat bebena nak bangun. Itulah yang selalu family aku kagum dengan aku. Hahahaha.

Anyways, kat Melbourne ni pun lebih kurang je. Jumpe plak housemates mantap yang jenis bersahur dgn berseleranye mcm aku, seronoklah aku. Haha. So setakat ni kitorang memang sahur dengan bersungguh-sungguh la, dengan nasik, sambal, telur goreng, keropok ikan, daun salad untuk jadi sayur, dan entah ape-ape lagi yang available untuk jadi lauklah. Hahaha. So kenyang tu memang maximum gle lah kan, memang tak dinafikan lah.

Tapi yang tak bestnye weather kat Melbourne ni, memang sejuk memanjang. Especially sejak minggu lepas, asyik hujan and angin yang kuat gle. Smpai haritu mcm ade hail sikit. Nasib bait hail sikit yang halus-halus je yang lasted only for a few minutes. Kalau yang besar-besar macam bulan March haritu, macam mana?? Mampus ar. Huhu. Tu la, sejuk kot, memang kene dok dlm bilik pasang heater je, kalau tak, tak taulah macam mana. Adoi kenapa lah begini. Huhu.

Okay reason aku cakap pasal sejuk-sejuk nih, sebab kalau sejuk, semakin mengaktifkan perasaan lapar. Korang agree tak dengan aku?? Memang itulah assumption yang kitorang serumah buat. Especially dalam minggu ni, cepat giler lapar eventhough makan sahur tahap orang berbuka. Masuk tengah hari je, mulalah perut mengeluarkan macam-macam lagu sampai rasa tak selesa and malu bila duduk dalam kelas/lecture, takut orang sebelah dgr. Serious doh, aku tak tipu. Yang lain pun cakap macam tu. Hehehe.

Haaa ni aku nak cakaplah tujuan sebenar aku tulis post ni. Kalau selama ni aku biasa bersahur dengan nasik dan sebagainya, hari ni lain pulak. Itu yang merisaukan aku. Haha. Sebenarnye kitorang terbangun lambat hari ni, so macam dah malas la nak consume nasik and sebagainye. Kena tunggu nak panaskan lauk dalam microwave dan sebagainya.. Ish malaslah aku. Eh tau pun malas dh kan. Haha. Roommate aku plak macam nak demam, so macam takde seleralah kot nak makan nasik ni. So aku pun okay je. Sorang housemate aku yang termasuk dalam "geng bersahur" lak takde kat rumah, and another one plak yang jenis tak bersahur berat2 setakat minum nescafe and makan pisang je. Makan sorang-sorang pun tak seronok gak. So aku pun decided untuk amek benda-benda nih sebagai sahur aku selain daripada setengah botol air masak:

Nescafe 3 in 1 mild-pinjam dari housemate aku
Pisang-yang dah lama disimpan dalam compartment aku dalam larder kitorang

Scotch Finger-one of my favourite biscuits kat sini

Uncle Tobys muesli bar-Strawberry flavour

So persoalannye sekarang.. Mampukah makanan-makanan di atas menahan perutku daripada lapar sepanjang hari ni? Boleh ke lawan kadar ketahanan nasi dan lauk pauk? Korang rse macam mana eh? Yang aku tau, perut aku dah sakit and rasa senak dah semenjak lepas sahur tadi. Kenapa ye? Nescafe tu memang lemak berkrim lah. Selama ni aku sahur guna teh o panas je. Hari ni minum bersusu plak. Maybe sebab tu kot. Haiyaa. Haraplah boleh bertahan kan. Tak ske lah perut berkeroncong-keroncong ghazal mse tengah puasa nih. Adoi.

Terima kasih lah ye sebab baca satu lagi post aku yang entah ape-ape. Cheers!~

learn to appreciate. :)

2010-08-17T21:37:00.003+10:00

Masuk hari ni, dah 6 hari berpuasa. Kalau di Malaysia, dah 7 hari. How time flies kan. Sedar tak sedar nanti dah raya. Sibuklah dengan preparation nak sambut raya. Lain orang, lain la persiapannya. Tapi all in all lebih kurang sama jugak. Meriahnya tu tak terkata, especially malam raya. Fuhh.. Dengan sibuk nak ubah susunan furniture, lap meja and perhiasan dalam rumah, potong kek and susun kek and biskut dalam bekas.. Ehh memang seronok lah!

And kalau di rumah aku, every year memang persiapan nak sambut raya tak pernah berubah. Macam tu la. Susun atur furniture, letak karpet, lap2 mana yang patut termasuk pinggan mangkuk gelas, potong-potong kek, susun-susun dalam bekas, fresh flowers yang dibeli petang or malam tu dipotong ikut ketinggian yang sesuai dengan vase and susun cantik-cantik, letak kat ruang tamu. Kad-kad raya yang orang bagi plak, dikumpul and distaplerkan dlm 3-4 keping then letak reben di hujung, then gantungkan kat luar rumah, kat siling porch kereta depan rumah.

Haa kat dapur plak lain cerita. Sesi memasak memang bermula dari petang. Ingredients jangan cakap la, memang dari pagi dah ready. Mase tu la bau-bau masakan yang gils sedap dah semerbak. Menu wajib hari raya kat rumah kitorang: Kari ayam, daging masak hitam, lemang, satay, kuah kacang, ketupat pulut, ketupat nasi, stew daging/soto ayam tu occasionally la, ada masa ada, kalau takde pun takpe.. Kalau kat Sarawak, kari ayam and daging masak hitam tu memang wajib, specialty, kalau kat Semenanjung, mesti makan rendang kan? Haa aku rasa itu la difference menu kat Sarawak and Semenanjung. Sabah tak tau la pulak camne. Nanti aku usha, tanya-tanya orang Sabah yang aku kenal okay? (Sorang je kot. Haha)

And yang aku rasa memang tradisi family aku la kan, dalam bab hidangan wajib hari raya ni, kuah kacang and ketupat pulut and ketupat nasi memang buat sendiri (selain dari kari ayam and daging masak hitam; lemang and satay tu memang order lah, tempat nak bakar takde, lagipun tak larat nak tunggu hehe). Itu memang tak boleh miss. Memang tradisi dari arwah nenek aku, diturunkan kat mak aku. So, tugas utama mak aku before raya memang part ketupat and kuah kacang. Ada masanya kuah kacang diserahkan dengan orang lain, tapi ketupat memang dia je yang handle. Part ketupat ni memang aku rasa menariklah. Sebab kat rumah-rumah orang lain kan, bila aku pegi beraya, memang takde hidang ketupat pulut, just ketupat nasi/nasi himpit. Sebab tu aku rasa kat rumah aku special sket (chewah! hahahaha).

Kalau takde buat ketupat pulut, memang rasa tak complete sungguh. Bayangkan, last year bila aku, mak aku, abang and kakak aku raya kat KL, walaupun kecil-kecilan wat makanan untuk kitorang je, itu pun mak aku tetap buat ketupat sendiri. Takde beli-beli okay? Hehe. Makanan-makanan lain (refer kepada paragraph di atas) pon ade jugak mak aku masak, and kitorang tolong. Just masa tu, ada menu lain, iaitu rendang ayam Minang style. Dia bukan rendang yang kaler brown tu, yang pakai kerisik. Ni rendang warna kuning, memang perghh, one of my mom's favourite recipes kalau memasak :)

So anyways, hari raya memang best, and part berkumpul dengan family and bersalam-salaman di pagi raya tu memang syahdu lah. Tapi bila part dapat duit raya dari family members yang lebih tua, terus jadi seronok and riuh, hilang sket dah moment syahdu-syahdu tu. Then time amek gambar plak. Bape puluh shots entah, ade yang mate bertutup, mulut terbukak, tersengih tak tentu pasal, muka masam tak perasan camera diclick, anak-anak saudara ade yang menangis mood tak betul, yang tak tengok camera,.. Adoi macam-macam je kan. Tapi best betul suasana tu. Pagi raya yang meriah.

Tapi memang terasa sangat hari raya bila tak ada insan-insan yang disayang.. Arwah nenek dah meninggal 10 tahun lepas, arwah atuk pulak May tahun lepas.. Baru sangat. And that's why kitorang raya kat KL je tahun lepas, masih terasa kehilangan atuk. Macam tak complete kalau takde dia, takde arwah nenek.. Sedih sangat-sangat. Rindunya aku dengan diorang, hanya Tuhan je tahu. Mana taknya, diorang memang duduk dengan kitorang sejak dari semua kitorang adik-beradik lahir, bantu mak aku besarkan kitorang. Bila dua-dua tak ada, memang sedih tu tak boleh nak gambarkan dengan kata-kata, especially bila dah time-time special macam Ramadhan and Raya. Semoga mereka ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.. :(

Hurm sebagai conclusion, aku tau la yang kita ni masih lagi di minggu pertama puasa, lama lagi kot nak raya, tapi bak kata orang kan, "pejam celik pejam celik.. tak terasa" betul tak? Terutamanya kalau dok jauh-jauh dari keluarga and tanah tumpah darahku aduhh.. Ni pulak first time aku berjauhan gini dari family, terasa jugaklah bila sambut Ramadhan dengan housemates and kawan-kawan and dengan kena pegi kelas and buat assignments dengan stress dan tensionnya, without family dekat dengan aku. Huhu. Mula-mula sampai Melbourne masa bulan February hari tu, "stressing" jugaklah bila fikir yang kena menghadapi puasa and raya alone-alone without family, bukanlah maksud aku alone merana sorang-sorang menyisihkan diri dari orang dek emo-emo mengenangkan nasib diri jauh dari family bila time-time yang bermakna nih, but you know what I mean lah, sepanjang 20tahun aku hidup kat dunia nih, aku memang biasa dengan family jek, dekat tempat sendiri, all familiar environments, ni tiba-tiba pegi jauh plak, maunya effect juak mentally and emotionally.

Tapiiii 3 bulan lepas, aku happy sangat-sangat bila roommate ku sayang (eleh :p ) berjaya jumpa ticket murah gil babs untuk aku, sedap-sedap lak tu masa raya, and a week before raya tu aku spring break, lahhh ape lagi, lepas calling-calling mak aku , setttt ada green light untuk balik raya! :D

Ni lah conclusion nya, nak cakaplah yang aku akan balik Sabtu minggu depan, sempat lak tu puasa kat Kuching and raya 2,3 hari, cukuplah 2minggu tuh, aku bersyukur sangat sebab ada peluang balik, sebab aku raya aku masih tak cukup ready dari segi emosi and mental untuk raya jauh dari family :p kalau puasa boleh lagi kot, raya tu aku tak tau laaa, harap-harap next year dah boleh kot, nak jugak kan rasa camne raya kat perantauan hihi.

Just apa yang aku try nak sampaikan di sini (selain dari merepek pasal raya and so on) is that bila aku dah jauh macam ni, baru aku appreciate everything, even the petty things. Baru tau erti rindu family, rindu kawan-kawan, rindu suasana, rindu rumah, rindu makanan, rindu tempat, rindu everything! Aku rasa, communication between aku and family members pun dah semakin improve, rasa macam semakin rapat, and Tuhan je tau rasa excited bila nak balik cuti kat tempat sendiri. Sebelum ni aku tak penah rasa perasaan balik-balik cuti, coz memang aku blaja kat Kuching jek dari kecik, so takde istilah "balik Kuching for mid term break/cuti sem/whatsoever" macam most of kawan-kawan aku. So aku takde peluang nak rasa that feeling of joy everytime nak balik, and rasa reluctant sangat-sangat bila kena meninggalkan Kuching once the holidays are over. So now aku dah boleh experience perasaan tu. Last June bila aku balik for 3weeks, sumpah rasa taknak return to Melbourne lagi. I really enjoyed my time in Kuching and KL. Tapi kena jugak balik kan. Huhu.

Bila dah jauh, baru appreciate. Itula summary dari semua yang aku bebelkan panjang-panjang kat atas. Harap sudilah membaca ye, siapa yang berjaya baca sampai habis ni memang hebatlah, tahniah untuk korang. Selamat berpuasa and see you in the next post! :)

puasa: day 1. ;)

2010-08-12T23:11:00.004+10:00

Today is the first day of Ramadhan in Australia. And second day for those in Malaysia and other countries as well though.

Hurm first day went well I guess. Despite being so sleepy through out the day because of having not enough sleep the night before, I survived the first day haha. Went for fast-breaking at neighbours' house and feasted and talked and laughed together. It was great. :)

Have to go to bed after this so that after sahur and subuh, hopefully I would not sleep anymore as I need to get out of the house before 9am tomorrow morning to meet up with my partner for our assignment which is due next Thursday, then maybe after that going straight to our 2.30pm class. And I wonder why I am not yet emailing my other partner for another assignment to ask him about our progress on our assignments? Damn it lazy bum, get your grip and put your head and hands in your work ASAP -_-"

Anyways, Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims. Let this be yet another meaningful Ramadhan for us all.

Someday..

2010-08-08T12:15:00.003+10:00

"Someday" - Rob Thomas

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry

[Chorus:]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

Other than Words by Train, this is my current favorite song. It really really does reflects my situation now. How I wish that 'You' can look back at the lyrics and really give a thought about the meaning of those lyrics. Huu.

carried away much?

2010-08-08T10:59:00.002+10:00

I think I got too carried away with my so-called feelings. Which is SO not good.

It is one thing to still feel that way again towards an ex, and when the ex gave the impression of feeling the same way and yet one time seemed to be all 'friendly-as-friends' only, I just don't get it. I mean, okay, we're just started being on good terms again for only just a couple of months now, but still.. We used to be in a relationship once upon a time ago, and last year he did confessed that he tried to approach me again before things got really ugly for some reasons and we kinda hated each other and were not speaking to each other for nearly a year. Huh.

Anyhow. I must keep on track. Don't fool around with my own feelings. If he still feels the same way, let him be, and it will unveil somehow. But don't know lah.

It's better if I ignore all of this once and for all. I think that's the best. Even though its gonna be damn hard.

It's just that I'm really scared of being brokenhearted again, that's all..

The end.

mushy confession.

2010-08-06T13:02:00.002+10:00

It's been quite a while since the last time I experienced this feeling. The feeling of affection towards someone. Feeling of longing to be with that person, the utmost feeling of missing someone so much. The feeling of falling for that person. Just by seeing the person's name makes my heart pounding like crazy, like it will burst from the inside. Don't let me mention about butterflies in the stomach. And keep on thinking about the person during night and day.

The feeling of being in love. I miss this feeling. And its happening again in myself. With the person that I've known since I was 15. The person who was in my past, but whom I never seemed to get over with. true, after the things between us were over 3 years ago, different people come and go from my life. But him, he stays in my heart. And now.. I think I'm falling ever deeper for him because so far things are starting to get better between us, since the ugly fallout that we had last year until the last 3 months. Hopefully we settled every grudge between us. And I can just hope that we can start all over again. The same 'us', but at the same time, a new 'us'. A new awakening. A fresh start. A better one. :)

And God, I can just hope and pray that he still feels the same.. And there will be a new 'us' soon.. I just don't bear to lose him again. Not when things are starting to get better now.

"I'd give anything but I won't give up on you
I'd say anything but not goodbye
I will run with your changes and I'm always on your side
And there's not a word that I've ever heard
That would make me change my mind"

-Words by Train

And it made me so giddy in happiness when he 'liked' the lyrics above that I posted in FB as my status update yesterday. :)

Oh my having this sort of feelings makes me feel so silly. Haha. Even the smallest thing matters so much to me.

Hey you. You mean so much to me. Hopefully you will know that eventually. :)

And this marks the end of the mushy post. Haha.

start of 2nd sem :)

2010-07-31T12:39:00.003+10:00

First thing first. Hello new semester! It's the end of the 2nd week for my 2nd semester here. Time flies so fast, and hopefully it will fly faster til the end of next month where I will go back home for puasa and Raya! I just can't wait! :D

So far, so good. Classes are okay. Lecturers and tutors are nice. Classmates are mostly new to me, but they're great. Some of the familiar ones are with me for some classes, which is good. Good to see some familiar faces tho :)

Results for last semester? Hmm so-so, but I wished that I could have done better. I mean, my friends said that it was okay enough for me whom just started here and just trying to get used of the learning method and standard of education here and everything, but I just couldn't help but being quite disappointed. Being all assignments-based is great because I would wrap up and finish early compared to my other friends who were still struggling for their exams, but somehow I should have focused and struggled more for my assignments. And doing them in the last minute really doesn't help! Huhu. But InsyaAllah I'll do better this time around. Just submitted my first assignment last Tuesday (yea I know, first week already given an assignment, and to be submitted early 2nd week, what the heck). Chaiyo2 for me! Haha ;)

And lastly, Happy Birthday to someone who used to be so important to me, but now, no more. :) We could never be more than friends, and I accept that. Well, Happy Birthday, my friend. May Allah swt bless you always.

Cheers.

Hello from Brisbane!

2010-07-16T14:04:00.003+10:00

Kesian blog mcm tak dipedulikan for over a month. Haha.

Anyways, lots of things berlaku recently. Came back from 3 weeks of super fun holidays in Malaysia, entertained the friends from Brisbane who came to Melbourne for a week-long vacation, then off to Brisbane for MY own 2 weeks-long vacation. Haha. Best doh. But tomorrow night I'll be back to Melbourne because uni starts on Monday (19th July). MONDAY??? I feel like I haven't had enough holidays. Tolonglah. Huhuhu.

Enough for now. Later blog lagi. Wanna get ready for to watch Xfactor's audition/concert after this. Thanks to Sue and Mira, my really great hostesses while I'm in Brisbane, for the free ticket. Hehe. Experience tuuuu :)

toodles.

tanah airku. :D

2010-06-10T14:10:00.002+10:00

weeee I'm back in Malaysia this morning!

Currently in KL now. Feels good to be reunited with my family again. Haha. Tonight there will be a small family gathering at my house. I'm going to help with the cooking after this :D

Don't know yet when I'll go back to Kch, but hopefully soon! Rindu. :)

Hopefully 3 weeks ain't gonna come to an end so soon. Huhu.

Ciao. :D

5.24am.

2010-06-06T05:06:00.004+10:00

I haven't slept yet, and I'm kinda sleepy but I have to tahan. :(

So far for the last 4 hours, I drank 2 cups of black coffee and am currently having my 3rd cup.

For the last 5 hours, I started working on my assignment and the progress so far? Nothing much, really.

So...

a. Since when I started drinking black coffee with a teaspoon of sugar?

b. Why the hell am I so slow in doing my assignment which is due tomorrow at 5pm?

c. I'm planning to stay awake, and not going to sleep anytime soon! Perhaps for another day or two (yeah right. My so-called resolution for the next 3 days)

d. I now hereby finally admit it that Facebook is so distracting. Hence I deactivated it again just now until I finish all my assignments.

e. The thought of going back next Thursday really makes me happy.

f. But then again, the unfinished workloads are stopping me from being happy.

g. And why the heck would I think too much about a person who seemed to be constantly texting or whatever with God knows who for one whole day? Is it because that person used to be someone whom I have had a massive crush with?

h. Stop thinking about it already and get out from this blog and I should really focus on my assignments now.

FML.

3 more..

2010-06-01T17:41:00.002+10:00

It's freeeeeezing in here! :(

*Venue: Old Eng Building, Uni Melb. My housemates are all Uni Melb students so I always tag along to do my assignments here. Haha.*

In 9 days, I'll be home to my family.. I. Can't. Wait.

But first, have to get through these hurdles first. 3 more assignments to go. Aiseyh.

K bye.

Its been a year.. Al-Fatihah

2010-05-19T19:51:00.004+10:00

Today, it has been a year since my late grandfather passed away. Time flies so fast. I never even thought it would be that long. And yes it certainly is.

I remembered that day, when I my grandpa passed away in front of us, at the hospital, after nearly a month of suddenly been diagnosed with liver cancer, I cried my eyes out. I cried and cried and cried, because I know why. I admit it now.

We spent the entire night with him at the ward, my family, close friends and I, and by the time he was gone, I was actually fallen asleep for just a moment. I woke up just in time to see that he was gone, to see that he passed away in his sleep in just a matter of seconds.

I didn't get to see him drew his last breath, closed his eyes for the final time, and didn't whisper my last syahadah to his ear before he departed for ever. I was there, but I missed the final moment just because I fell asleep beside the bed, while holding his hand.

My Grandfather, Allahyarham Haji Karim bin Abeng, was a great man, too great for words. He was the father figure to me, he, together with my late Grandmother, did very well in their job in helping my mother to raise me and my siblings.

Til this day, every actions of mine in all these years of growing up that made him ever feel disappointed and angry at me, I regret them greatly. I still blame myself for not being a good enough granddaughter for him, to pay back all his good deeds towards me for my whole life.

I miss him dearly, and forever Paknek will be in my heart and my mind....

Semoga roh Allahyarham ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Al-Fatihah.

Paknek and I

Terima Kasih Cikgu

2010-05-16T19:23:00.008+10:00

Today is the 16th May, known as Teacher's Day in Malaysia (or is it in other countries as well? I'm not sure).

Teacher's Day meant so much to me. Why do you ask? Because I just love my teachers (awwwww hahahaa) Seriously! I think during my school years (and post-SPM years), I liked to give something to my favourite teachers. Be it a small gift or just a card, but just about anything to wish them Happy Teacher's Day.

This is the logo of my beloved primary school. I was a student of Sekolah Kebangsaan Gita from 1996-2001. The school is just a 5-minutes walk from my house; you can practically see the school while standing in front of my house. I had some really nice teachers while I was there; and I really enjoyed being a part of the school community.

And this is Kolej Datu Patinggi Abang Haji (DPAH) Abdillah, where I went for my secondary years (2002-2006). This school held so much bittersweet memories for me. I found great friends here, and get to know some really awesome teachers as well. Even though I the results for my exams and PMR and especially SPM sucked big time, but I blame myself for that and certainly not the teachers! (Even though I had some really really boring teachers haha).

I remember celebrating Teacher's Day at both of the schools. The celebration for Teacher's Day is just the same for every school; both of mine are included. Each and every year, we would assemble at the school hall, listen to the headmaster's/principal's and a few other teachers' speeches, then there were performances by students, dedicating songs and poems and stories for the teachers. Some of the teachers also showed their hidden talents by singing a few songs. Then there would be the moment when teachers would be given small tokens of appreciation and the students sang the sentimental classic song of "Terima Kasih Cikgu" at the end of the assembly. Many cried while singing the song, students and teachers, and this happened every year.

And those who came from Malaysia's schooling system, don't you dare say that you don't know the song "Terima Kasih Cikgu".

When I was in secondary school, my best friends and I tried to be creative on Teacher's Day. I remember on one of the Teacher's Days during secondary school, we gave a coffee maker for the teachers and placed it at the staff room. And a few times, we cards and pinned them on the notice board at the staff room's entrance. And I remember a particular huge card with our pictures glued on the card along with our names. And yes, I think that card was my idea.

And I don't know why were we being so generous when it comes to Teacher's Day.

But last year, I didn't get to visit any of the schools as I was really busy with other commitments. Instead, I sent a text to the teachers whom I still in contact with, wishing them a Happy Teacher's Day. But this year, I feel bad coz I didn't even get to meet them and even text them or something. Aw sedeh :( But its okay, when I get home for holidays later, I wanna go meet my favourite teachers yaayyyyyyy (okay over di situ)

So here, I just want to say Happy Teacher's Day to my teachers at Sekolah Kebangsaan Gita and Kolej DPAH Abdillah, Kuching. Thank you for your effort in teaching me all those years, and for your guidance and encouragement. Thank you again and God bless. :)

Terima Kasih Cikgu

Hari pertama masuk sekolah
Tak pandai membaca mengira
Tetapi cikgu begitu tabah
Mengajar kami sungguh-sungguh

Bermula ABC sampai Z
Hitung 1 sampai 10
Dari ejaan dan kira-kira
Kami belajar dengan lancar

Berkat kesabaran guru bijaksana
Memberi pelbagai petunjuk
Hari demi hari kami pun mengerti
Pelajaran nilainya tinggi

Kami ingat setiap masa
Jasa guru mendidik bangsa
Sambutlah ini ucapan kami
Terima Kasih Cikgu

:')

first crush. :)

2010-05-14T20:13:00.004+10:00

Everyone has their own versions of first crushes. :)

Girls out there, have you ever thought about your first crush? Not that lovey-dovey-too-sweet-to-forget-i-love-you first love, what I meant here was the first crush that made you really noticed boys for the first time and thought "hmm, I know boys are disgusting but he IS kind of cute..." hahahaha :)

I don't know why but I suddenly thought about my own first crush. Haha. Gatal! ;) It was kinda funny you see, because I don't even know that it was something called a crush. Back then I was still a kid, around 9 years old I guess. (compared to kids nowadays, that age is kinda old already. Kids nowadays already knows about love and boyfriends and girlfriends from as young as 3 years old. I mean, what the heck?? Kids mature sooooo fast now, its getting scary -,- )

Anyways, at that time, I was on a trip to Sabah with my family. We traveled by car (all 5 to 6 cars in a convoy) from Kuching and all the way to Kota Kinabalu. The problem is, I don't really remember the things that happened and what we did during that trip because I was quite young at that time and it was, like, 12 years ago? And I don't have a strong memory, so to speak.

But what I do remember is about this boy, aged 10 years old at that time if I'm not mistaken. He was the son of my mum's friend who lived in Kota Kinabalu. The name of the boy was Farid, and he was a Sabahan. He had a Pakistani-looks, big dark brown eyes and was a bit shorter than me. But yeah, the moment I saw him, that was when I said (refer 1st paragraph) HAHAHA!

I don't remember much about talking with him, or did or did I not talked to him at all, but what I do know that I often sneaked a look at him at every chance I got. I like the way he talked, with that Sabahan slang of his, and I think that was the moment which I first started to love hearing the attractive Sabahan slang. It has some kind of rhythm to it, you know? :)

Anyways other than that, I didn't remember much all the other details, but I don't think all of us spent a lot of time together because we were traveling from Kota Kinabalu to a few other parts of Sabah (Kundasang, Sandakan, Lahad Datu, Tawau, Sempoerna, etc) so it was pretty much it. My family and I took pictures with him, and as soon as the pictures were developed, I remembered about taking one of the photos and sticking it on my shelf besides my desk in my room. Haha.

So that's the story of my first crush. Nothing major, nothing outrageous, just to show that at some point of our adolescent life, or coming to be an adolescent, for sure there would be experience some sort of first crushes. The way it started or bloomed was always an interesting thing to know. :)

Til this day, I still thought about this Farid occasionally and would laughed and smiled when thinking about it everytime. I don't even know his full name, only that one word of a name. I don't know where he is right now and there's no way he would remember me because, after all, he was not the one who had the very-the-innocent crush towards me, isn't it? HAHA.

Oh what's with the sudden "walking down memory lane?" Hehe weird.

please read this and help out

2010-05-12T02:53:00.003+10:00

Sama-samalah kita menghayati nukilan seorang insan di bawah ini....

Saya Rohaiza Bte Ishak. Saya merupakan guru Kemahiran Hidup di MRSM Muar. Tujuan saya menulis email ini ialah untuk memohon belas kasihan dari pembaca kerana anak kedua saya yang bernama NurHannah Bte Mohamed Helmi berusia 3 bulan tidak sihat.

Ketika bersalin, anak saya lemas kerana tali pusat keluar lebih kurang 40 minit sebelum saya bersalin. Ini menyebabkan anak saya lemas kerana tidak mendapat oksigen kerana tali pusat sudah terkeluar.

Apabila doctor scan (MRI) otak anak saya, doctor menyatakan bahawa anak saya terencat akal kerana sel-sel otak telah mati kerana kekurangan oksigen. Hanya Allah yang tahu apa yang saya rasa ketika itu.

Kaki bagaikan tidak jejak ke bumi. Muka saya pucat bagaikan tiada darah lagi. Hampir 3 minggu saya mengambil masa untuk terima hakikat apa yang doctor terangkan mengenai anak saya. Hari-hari saya menangis. Saya rasakan hati saya kosong.

Selepas 3 minggu saya cuba berkongsi masalah dengan teman sekerja. Semangat saya mula datang apabila ada rakan yang mengalami situasi yang sama seperti saya iaitu anak mereka lemas ketika bersalin. Doktor juga menyatakan anak mereka terencat akal. Tetapi kuasa Allah mengatasi segalanya dan anak mereka alhamdulillah sihat. Tetapi saya akui bahawa saya hanya insan yang lemah. Kadang-kadang saya kuat, kadang-kadang saya lemah sangat.

Rakan menasihati saya agar perbanyakkan solat hajat, baca yassin dan bersedekah. Alhamdulillah. Saya melakukan semua nasihat yang mereka berikan. Perkembangan terbaru tentang anak saya ialah dia masih lagi belum boleh menghisap dan menelan. Minum susu menggunakan tiub yang dimasukkan terus ke perut. Suction machine pula digunakan untuk menyedut air liur kerana anak masih tidak boleh menelan.

2 minggu lepas anak dimasukkan ke hospital kerana jangkitan kuman pada paru2. Ketika itu keadaan anak terlalu lemah menyebabkan doctor sukar mencari urat anak. Pilihan kedua ialah masukkan line hingga ke tulang.

Sekali lagi anak saya diduga iaitu selepas 3 hari kaki anak bengkak. Apabila doctor buat x-ray, rupanya kaki anak saya patah kerana dicucuk ketika memasukkan line.Pergerakan anak saya tidak seaktif bayi kerana kesan kurangnya oksigen di otak ..tambahan pula kaki kanan anak bersimen.

Hanya Allah tempat saya mengadu. Jika boleh, biarlah saya yang menanggung semua kesakitan itu, bukan anak saya yang berumur 3 bulan. Minum guna tiub, tak tahu menelan…kaki pula bersimen.

Kalian bayangkanlah bagaimana perasaan seorang ibu yang menjaga janin dalam kandungan bagaikan menatang minyak yang penuh. Tetapi selepas lahir, begitu besar ujian untuk anak saya.Terus terang saya katakan bahawa ini adalah ujian yang maha-maha besar dalam hidup saya. Saya bersyukur kerana Allah menguji saya kerana Dia sayangkan saya dan anak.

Dikesempatan ini saya memohon, merayu dan menagih simpati agar kalian dapat meluangkan masa untuk melakukan sembahyang hajat agar kesihatan anak saya pulih dan jauhkanlah anak saya dari sebarang kecacatan.

Andainya terlalu berat permintaan saya, bacakanlah Al-Fatihah. Jika permintaan ini juga berat, cukuplah kalian mengucapkan INSYAALLAHagar anak saya sihat, dijauhkan dari kecacatn dan dipulihkan kerosakan pada otaknya. Mudah-mudahan dengan keikhlasan kalian, doa kalian dimakbulkan. Hanya Allah yang mampu membalas budi kalian.

Saya juga memohon agar kalian dapat forwardkan email ini kepda rakan-rakan kalian agar dapat membantu anak saya. Kesihanilah anak saya kerana dia terlalu kecil untuk memahami erti kesakitan. Jika ada nasihat, pengalaman dan ilmu..emailkanlah kepada sayarozex_3056@yahoo.com.my<http://us.mc761.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=rozex_3056@yahoo.com.my> . Di sini saya sertakan panduan sembahyang hajat. Mudah-mudahan bolehlah kalian amalkan jika ingin memohon sesuatu hajat. Percaya dan yakinlah bahawa Allah maha mendengar doa dari hambaNya.

Solat Hajat

1) Niat Ushalli sunnatal hajati rak’ataini lillaahi ta’aala.

2) Tiap-tiap 2 rakaat sesudah membaca al-fatihah, baca Ayat kursi 1x, dan Kul huallah huahad sebanyak 1x.

3) Sehabis salam yang terakhir, sujud semula. teruslah meminta hajat kepada Allah dengan khusyuk.Insyaallah Allah makbulkan.

Ayat Kursi

Allahu laa ilaaha illaa huwal hayyl qayuum, la tak khu-dzuhuu sinataunw walaa naw-um, lahuu maa fis samawaati wamaa fil-ardhi, man dzal-la-dzii yasy-fa-‘u indahuu illaa bi-idz-nihii, ya’-lamu maa bayna aydiihim, wamaa khal-fahum walaa yuhii-thuuna bi-syai-inm min’ilmihii illa bimaa syaa-a, wasi-‘a kursiy-yuhus samaawaati wal-ar-dha, walaa ya-uu-duhuu hifzhuhumaa wahuwal ‘aliy-yul azhim.

Gambar ini diambil pada hari ke-2 kelahiran Hana. Waktu ini Hana di ICU nursery. Hana bernafas menggunakan mesin kerana ketika lahir, denyutan jantung sudah terhenti. Doktor melakukan CPR untuk mendapatkan semula nyawa Hana. Allah Maha Berkuasa. Alhamdulillah.

Ini gambar 2 minggu lepas ketika di wad knk2 tiba2 pernafasan Hana laju. Doktor memberi saya 2 pilihan. Pilihan pertama untuk mendakap Hana buat saat terakhir kerana Hana terlalu sukar bernafas. Pilihan kedua pula ialah masuk ke ICU dan memasukkan kembali tiub pernafasan. Doktor menerangkan jika tiub sukar di masukkan ke mulut, mereka akan masukkan melalui leher dengan menebuk leher Hana. Dengan kuasa Allah tiub berjaya dimasukkan melalui mulut.

Ini gambar ketika Hana dimasukkan ke ICU selepas tiub pernafasan dimasukkan melalui mulut. Hanya air mata saya yang menemani Hana ketika di ICU kerana saya tidak dibenarkan menjaga Hana ketika di ICU.

Ini gambar selepas kaki Hana disimen. Tiub di mulut Hana digunakan untuk menyusu. Belum lagi pandai menghisap, kaki pula patah. Alhamdulillah atas ujian yang diberikan. Saya redha.

Saya berharap dengan melihat gambar Hana, lahirlah sedikit simpati dari kalian. Cuma doa yang saya pohon dari kalian agar Hana boleh membesar seperti kanak-kanak yang sempurna. Jauhkanlah Hana dari kecacatan.
Mudah-mudahan Allah gantikan sel yang rosak di otak Hana dengan sel yang baru dan dipilih di kalangan sel yang terbaik untuk Hana. Inilah doa yang tiap kali saya baca setiap sujud yang terakhir, setiap kali lepas solat fardu dan solat hajat.
Mudah-mudahan Allah makbulkan segala doa dan Allah berkati segala usaha saya. Selebihnya saya bertawakal. Amin

I found this post in some random blog that I came across and when I browse through her interesting blog (click here) I found this particular touching post, which was also taken by the owner of the blog from her friend's blog. What I can see is that some very kind people are putting effort to circulate this post in order to help this woman and her child in any ways that they can.

As human beings, and fellow Muslims, let's give our prayers to this unfortunate baby so that she's be getting better soon, Amin.

And I hope that whoever came across this post in my blog or in any other sources, may you can help by posting this in your blogs as well as sending this as emails to the people you know. InsyaAllah, pahala will be gifted to you God Almighty, for reaching out your effort and prayers to those unfortunate and helpless individuals. Amin.

on religion..

2010-05-10T14:58:00.003+10:00

When I was on the tram just now, heading back home from class, I heard this one quite interesting conversation near the back of the tram. Well, not quite eavesdropping but only accidentally hearing snippets of what they said as their voices were quite loud and can be heard to the front of the tram, which where I sat.

The conversation (or should I say, argument) was between a Muslim African woman, accompanied by her son which I think whom was blind, and a local man (I think, judging by his fair skin and accent) who, by the looks of it, looked kinda annoying.

It went on like this, I suddenly heard that the woman told the man about Islam, because she mentioned about the phrase "Laaillahaillahallah Muhammadarrasulullah", the name Prophet Muhammad SAW, about not knowing when we'll going to die, about his son used to take alcohol and such, and so on and so forth.

I can just caught a few things that the man said as the tram engine was a bit noisy and what's with the announcement made by the tram driver and such. The man said something about "We have a Christian story too", then he mentioned the name Jesus Christ, then something about him giving money or something.. While he said all this, he was smirking as if he enjoyed provoking the woman or something.

Then I don't know what else did they argued about and then the tram stopped at her stop, and when the woman and his son (or accompany; I don't know whether that was his son or not), the man, who was still on the tram, gave a little salute to the woman, still with that annoying smirk on his face.

When I got off to my stop (which is the next stop after where the woman got off), I kept thinking whether the man is making fun of the Muslim woman or not, or he was just joking around for the sake of neutralizing the situation. I don't know. I know the woman was passionate while talking about our religion, and maybe the man was amazed by it, but it sure is not something to be making fun of.

Religion is a sensitive issue. Please don't make fun or jokes about it okay.

jealousy ada limit, okay?

2010-05-09T22:12:00.003+10:00

Cemburu seorang lelaki

PERASAAN cemburu sering dikaitkan dengan mesej kasih sayang. Bagaimanapun perasaan cemburu yang gagal diurus boleh mendatangkan masalah besar dalam satu-satu perhubungan.

Misalnya di Melaka baru-baru ini, seorang jururawat, Hashimah Nong, 40, cedera parah apabila kemaluannya dirodok oleh suaminya yang juga seorang anggota tentera berusia 40-an.

Menurut Hashimah, suaminya mendengar bisikan suara jin yang memberitahu kononnya dia telah berzina dengan orang lain.

Tindakan suami Hashimah itu dianggap luar biasa malah ada pihak yang mempertikaikan kewarasan lelaki yang disifatkan pendiam dan perahsia itu.

Kisah Hashimah merupakan satu contoh jenayah cemburu di negara ini.

Kerana mahu mengelak kejadian sama berlaku, seorang mangsa lelaki cemburu, Nor Zanariah Zakaria, 27, nekad memutuskan pertunangannya dengan seorang lelaki yang didakwanya cemburu buta.

Patah tangan

“Jika dahulu saya memang suka dia cemburu sebab mahukan perhatiannya. Tetapi selepas bertunang, cemburunya semakin menjadi-jadi.

“Malah, saya pernah dipukul hingga patah tangan hanya kerana tidak mengangkat telefon,” ujar Zanariah.

Wanita malang itu sering menjadi mangsa kekasaran tunangnya walaupun atas kesalahan yang kecil.

Tidak hanya dengan pukul, telinganya juga sudah lali dengan ugutan dan maki hamun daripada insan yang pernah melayannya bagai seorang puteri raja.

“Sikapnya mula berubah enam bulan sebelum kami dijadualkan melangsungkan perkahwinan. Dia semakin panas baran dan sikap cemburu butanya sering menjadi punca perang mulut antara kami berdua.

“Saya sendiri tidak faham, apa yang mahu dicemburukan. Alasan yang selalu dipertahankan, dia cemburu kerana tidak mahu kehilangan perhatian saya.

“Saya cuba mencari jalan tengah dengan bersikap terbuka dan memperkenalkan rakan-rakan sepejabat dengannya.

“Namun sifat terbuka saya dijadikan senjata untuk menuduh saya yang bukan-bukan. Setiap hari ada sahaja perkara yang diragukan sampai naik rimas dibuatnya,” kata Zanariah.

Bercerita lebih lanjut sikap tunangnya, Zanariah mendakwa dia pernah dijerkah di depan rakan-rakan sepejabat hanya kerana bekerja syif malam dengan seorang rakan lelaki.

“Ia bukan perkara pelik bagi kakitangan beruniform seperti saya bekerja pada waktu malam, tetapi tunang saya tidak boleh menerima keadaan itu, lebih-lebih lagi jika rakan syif malam adalah lelaki,” luah anak sulung daripada tujuh beradik itu.

Akibat tidak tahan dengan sikap tunangnya yang cemburu buta itu, Zanariah tekad memutuskan tali pertunangan walaupun hari perkahwinan hanya berbaki 45 hari.

“Saya tidak kisah menanggung malu asalkan hidup saya tidak merana selepas itu,” tuturnya.

Mengulas insiden yang dialami Hashimah dan Zanariah, Perunding Kanan Psikiatri Universiti Putra Malaysia, Prof. Dr. Azhar Md. Zin berkata, terdapat beberapa perkara yang mendorong lelaki bersikap cemburu buta.

Bisikan

“Berdasarkan cerita Hashimah, (saya dapati) ada dua faktor yang menyebabkan keadaan itu berlaku.

“Bisikan yang didengari oleh si suami yang mendakwa isterinya curang sehingga mendorongnya mencederakan isteri jelas menunjukkan wujud gangguan mental.

“Ini tidak mustahil kerana cemburu yang melampau boleh terjadi disebabkan masalah psikiatri seperti sakit jiwa.

“Bagi lelaki normal, dia akan bertindak agresif tetapi tidak sampai mengakibatkan kecederaan melampau.

“Marah atau pukul mungkin perkara biasa, tetapi tidak jika sampai merodok kemaluan isteri dengan pisau,” katanya.

Selain gangguan mental, Azhar berpendapat, kejadian ganas itu juga mungkin berpunca daripada sifat biologi suami Hashimah yang memang dikuasai perasaan cemburu sejak kecil.

“Lelaki cenderung untuk bersikap agresif apabila gagal mengawal cemburu. Malah, kebanyakan kes yang saya kendalikan menunjukkan lelaki boleh mencederakan dan menyusahkan orang lain.

“Bagi perempuan pula, mereka lebih suka pendam perasaan dan perasaan itu meletus apabila mereka tidak mampu menangani masalah itu lagi.

“Bagaimanapun, jarang wanita (yang dikuasai perasaan) cemburu sanggup melakukan tindakan agresif melainkan ada gangguan mental,” jelasnya.

Sementara itu, Perunding Pakar Psikiatri Pusat Perubatan Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM), Prof. Madya Dr. Marhani Midin berkata, individu yang tidak bijak mengawal perasaan cemburu akan menerima tekanan perasaan.

“Mengamalkan gaya hidup sihat boleh mengelak tekanan perasaan yang keterlaluan, tidak kira sama ada marah, cemburu atau sayang.

Emosi

“Individu yang pandai mengurus perasaan supaya tidak berlebih-lebihan biasanya boleh berdepan dengan apa sahaja bentuk dugaan.

“Cemburu yang membabi buta boleh menjadi satu bentuk tekanan perasaan jika tidak boleh dikawal dan tidak mustahil ia mampu membawa kepada masalah yang lebih besar seperti jenayah,” katanya.

Jelas beliau, tekanan perasaan boleh diselesaikan dengan beberapa kaedah, namun ia terpulang bagaimana individu tersebut melihat cemburu sebagai masalah kepada mereka.

“Untuk menyelesaikan masalah cemburu keterlaluan, individu perlu memastikan punca yang mencetuskan rasa cemburu yang meluap-luap dalam dirinya.

“Apabila sudah dapat punca, mereka boleh mengatasi tekanan cemburu itu dengan dua kaedah berbeza iaitu memilih untuk menyelesaikan masalah yang menjadi penyebab cemburu ataupun memilih untuk mengawal emosi daripada menjadi cemburu.

“Contohnya, jika si suami pernah terbaca SMS daripada lelaki di telefon bimbit isterinya, berhenti mengulangi perbuatan tersebut. Proses itu memang mengambil masa kerana dorongan perasaan ingin tahu yang meluap-luap, tetapi ia perlu dikawal.

“Sekiranya timbul keraguan, bincang secara baik dan jangan gunakan kekerasan untuk memaksa pasangan mengakui apa yang dia telah lakukan.

“Jika perbincangan itu ikhlas daripada hati ke hati, ia akan berjalan lancar dan api cemburu boleh dipadamkan secara beransur-ansur,” katanya.

Profesor di Jabatan Fiqh dan Usul, Universiti Islam Antarabangsa Malaysia (UIAM), Prof. Datuk Dr. Mahmood Zuhdi Abdul Majid pula memberitahu, tiada bisikan halus yang boleh mendorong seseorang melakukan perkara luar jangkaan.

“Itu bisikan individu itu sendiri iaitu bisikan syaitan yang bertopengkan manusia. Syaitan tidak mampu mempengaruhi manusia jika individu itu dilandasi dengan keimanan.

“Manusia kini macam-macam bila sudah melakukan satu perkara yang teruk, mereka memberi alasan mendengar bisikan, pengaruh orang lain, hasutan dan sebagainya sedangkan mereka diberikan akal untuk berfikir dengan waras,” ujarnya.

Katanya, cemburu merupakan perkara lumrah bagi setiap individu malah sifat ini berlaku sejak zaman Nabi Adam ribuan tahun dahulu.

“Contohilah cemburu dengan jiran yang bahagia misalnya dan contohi mereka bukannya dengan menoreh kemaluan isteri,” katanya tegas.

-Kosmo! Online

Idiotsssssss with no ballsssssss!

Say no to sooo over-the-top jealous and violent men, please ladies?

Good news to people in Sarawak :)

2010-05-09T21:32:00.005+10:00

Bilangan doktor di Sarawak akan ditambah

KUCHING - Keutamaan akan diberi kepada Sarawak untuk mendapat lebih banyak doktor kerana jumlah doktor yang sedia ada di negeri ini masih berkurangan sebanyak 50 peratus, kata Menteri Kesihatan, Datuk Seri Liow Tiong Lai di sini hari ini.

Beliau berkata, Sarawak ketika ini hanya mempunyai 600 doktor tidak termasuk doktor swasta dan memerlukan sekurang-kurangnya 1,200 doktor.

"Keutamaan akan kita berikan kepada Sarawak sekarang kerana kita kurang doktor sebanyak 50 peratus daripada jumlah yang diperlukan,” katanya kepada pemberita selepas merasmikan kempen kesihatan dan penjagaan mulut di sini hari ini.

Beliau berkata, ketika ini kementerian mampu untuk mendapatkan kira-kira 3,300 doktor terlatih dalam setahun dan daripada jumlah tersebut kira-kira 3,000 akan berkhidmat di hospital kerajaan setelah mereka menamatkan latihan dan pengajian masing-masing.

Menurutnya, doktor-doktor yang telah tamat pengajian dan latihan tidak menghadapi banyak masalah untuk berkhidmat di Sarawak termasuk kawasan luar bandar kerana mereka berpeluang untuk menerima pelbagai insentif daripada kerajaan.

Katanya lagi, setakat ini terdapat kira-kira 25,000 doktor yang berkhidmat di negara ini dan ia termasuk doktor-doktor yang berkhidmat di hospital swasta. - Bernama

-Kosmo! Online

Good to know this, its about time that the government to allocate more doctors to the hospitals in Sarawak. Logically speaking, Sarawak is the biggest state in Malaysia, and how many hospitals are there in each division? Banyak right. So yeah of course more doctors are needed.

Hopefully service di hospital (especially general hospitals) pun semakin dibaiki and ditingkatkan. We need the quality, people! So that orang yang datang ke hospital untuk dirawat jadi semakin sihat, bukan semakin parah ye. :)

tersilap sapu ? nyehahaha

2010-05-09T21:19:00.003+10:00

Remember a few days ago when Malaysia (or the Malaysian news, as I am not there currently) heboh dengan kes kereta rasmi V6 Perdana milik Ketua Polis Selangor dicuri? Well, guess what, the car was returned back yesterday with a piece of note. Oh how thoughtful. HAHA.

Nota pencuri kereta: 'Sorry PDRM tesilap sapu'

SUNGAI BULOH 8 Mei - Penjenayah yang mencuri kenderaan rasmi Ketua Polis Selangor, Datuk Khalid Abu Bakar pagi kelmarin meninggalkan sekeping nota bertulis 'Sorry PDRM tesilap sapu' semasa 'memulangkan' kereta tersebut hari ini.

Kereta jenis Perdana V6 yang dilaporkan hilang di tempat letak kereta berhadapan sebuah restoran di Jalan Tengku Ampuan Zabedah 9/H, Seksyen 9, Shah Alam, ditemui semula di tepi jalan kawasan Prima Damansara di sini pagi ini.

Penjenayah terbabit dipercayai bertindak meninggalkan kenderaan itu bersama nota meminta maaf selepas mengetahui kenderaan yang dicuri adalah milik Polis Diraja Malaysia (PDRM).

Timbalan Ketua Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Selangor, Asisten Komisioner Khaw Kok Chin berkata, kereta itu ditemui oleh tiga anggota polis dari Balai Polis Damansara Damai yang menjalankan operasi untuk mengesan kenderaan terbabit pada pukul 8.35 pagi.

Menurutnya, kereta terbabit ditemui dalam keadaan baik dan tiada kehilangan barang-barang milik Ketua Polis Selangor dalam kenderaan itu.

Katanya, penjenayah dipercayai mencuri kenderaan itu selepas mengumpil pintu depan sebelah kiri untuk masuk sebelum memotong alat penggera bagi mengelak perbuatannya dikesan.

"Apabila diperiksa, kita menemui sekeping kertas tertulis nota berbunyi 'Sorry PDRM tesilap sapu' yang diletakkan di atas papan pemuka kereta," katanya di tempat kereta itu ditemui di sini hari ini.

Kok Chin berkata, suspek juga tidak menukar nombor pendaftaran WSY 6751 kereta tersebut dan semua barang dalam kereta itu selamat.

Katanya, kes itu disiasat mengikut Seksyen 379 (A) Kanun Keseksaan.

-Utusan Online

Lawak habes.

At least it is proven now that pencuri masih ada kesedaran sivik! (^_^)v

Again, youth shot by police

2010-05-09T21:02:00.003+10:00

Again, with the police-shoots-teenagers case. What now?

Cop shoots alleged ‘Mat Rempit’

GEMENCHEH: A 17-year-old youth believed to be a Mat Rempit was shot at by police who were chasing his motorcycle.

Night market trader Mohd Azizi Aziz, who is recovering in hospital, was with some 20 friends near the Centre Point shopping complex near here at about 3.30am yesterday when they saw a patrol car approaching and fled in different directions.

Upon seeing this, the two cops gave chase, repeatedly warning Mohd Azizi, who was astride a Honda EX5, to stop.

Sad parents: Aziz and Juhaida Che Hasan trying to wake their son Mohd Azizi after his surgery at the Tuanku Ja’afar Hospital in Seremban Saturday while Negri Sembilan exco Datuk Ismail Lasim look on. — Bernama

He apparently ignored their warnings and continued riding towards Jalan Jelebu.

State police chief Senior Asst Comm (I) Datuk Osman Salleh said the policeman who fired the single shot had since been suspended for violating the Inspector-General of Police’s Standing Orders.

“We consider this an abuse of power and I would like to apologise to the victim’s family for what happened,” he told reporters at the opening of the Felda Securities’ shooting range at Felda Bukit Rokan near here. ACP Osman said Mohd Azizi was allegedly riding in a zig-zag manner, as if taunting the cops to catch him.

“When he failed to stop after repeated warnings, one of the cops fired a shot,” he said.

He said Mohd Azizi stopped his bike upon reaching Kg Ujung Pasir about 1km away and tried to run away but was apprehended. The victim, who did not posses a valid licence, was rushed to the Tuanku Ja’afar Hospital where he underwent surgery.

ACP Osman said the cop should not have opened fire because there was no imminent danger to their lives.

“It is very unfortunate it happened,” he said, adding that the victim was riding his friend’s motorcycle.

On April 26, 14-year-old Aminulrasyid Amzah was shot dead when he allegedly tried to reverse the car he was driving into policemen who had stopped the vehicle at about 2am in Section 11, Shah Alam, which led to the setting up of a special panel headed by Deputy Home Minister Datuk Wira Abu Seman Yusop.

Abu Seman, who declared the shooting range open, said, “There will be no compromise. If the cop was found to have been negligent, we will let the law take its own course.”

Later when visiting Mohd Azizi at the hospital, he promised a thorough probe would be carried out to ascertain the events that led to during the shooting.

The victim’s father, Aziz Omar, said he had lodged a report over the incident and appointed a lawyer to initiate legal action against both the policeman allegedly responsible and the force.

-The Star Online

Hurmmm.. The things about "abuse of power" is absolutely right.

Sekarang macam senang-senang jek polis nak lepaskan tembakan in public places.

Selamatkah if nak keluar di mana-mana di Malaysia sekarang? Hoho.

memang derhaka..

2010-05-09T20:30:00.003+10:00

Mangsa dera anak

KUALA LUMPUR: Ketika kebanyakan ibu ceria diraikan anak dan keluarga masing-masing sempena sambutan Hari Ibu hari ini, ada ibu yang merintih serta meratapi nasib malang mereka selepas dianiayai zuriat sendiri.

Di Kelantan pula, Zawiah, 56, masih dihantui peristiwa dua tahun lalu apabila tangannya menerima 15 jahitan selepas dikelar anaknya manakala Besah, 63, hampir pengsan apabila kepalanya dihantukkan ke lantai simen oleh anaknya yang ketagih dadah, kira-kira dua tahun lalu. Ikuti kisah mereka selanjutnya:

KES 1:
“BERKALI-KALI saya dibawa berjumpa bomoh yang menuduh saya membela hantu raya hingga menjadi punca keluarga anak saya kerap sakit. Bermacam-macam rawatan mengarut terpaksa saya terima, termasuk diberi makan benda pelik hingga muntah.

“Selain selalu dimarahi dan dimaki, anak sulung saya yang terlalu percayakan bomoh mengurung saya di bilik bahagian dapur dan selepas enam bulan dikurung dia menghantar saya ke pusat jagaan orang tua,” kata Aminah kepada Metro Ahad.

Mengimbas lanjut latar belakang hidupnya, Aminah berkata, pada mulanya dia tinggal seorang diri di rumahnya di Ipoh, Perak selepas kematian suami lebih tiga tahun lalu. Bagaimanapun, anak sulungnya mengajaknya tinggal bersama mereka di Selangor.

Katanya, selepas dua tahun duduk bersama anaknya yang berkeluarga dan mempunyai empat anak, dia kerap sakit dan tidak larat bergerak serta perlukan bantuan untuk ke mana-mana.

“Saya selalu pening dan sengal di badan sampai tidak larat bangun. Pelbagai ubat saya makan tapi tak berkesan. Akhirnya menantu menghantar saya mendapatkan khidmat rawatan tradisional ketika anak saya ke luar negara.

“Tindakan itu menambah derita saya apabila bomoh menuduh saya membela hantu raya. Saya mengucap panjang dan menafikan tuduhan itu, tetapi apakan daya kerana menantu lebih percaya cakap bomoh,” katanya.

Berikutan itu Aminah dikurung di dalam bilik dengan alasan khuatir hantu yang dibela mengganggu cucunya hinggalah anak lelakinya pulang dari luar negara.

“Waktu anak saya balik, saya ingat dapatlah mengadu nasib kepadanya tetapi lain pula terjadi. Dia lebih percaya cakap isterinya dan terus mengurung saya di dalam sebuah bilik di dapur. Saya hanya diberi makan sekali pada waktu pagi dan sekali lagi pada malam,” katanya.

Aminah berkata, selama dikurung kira-kira enam bulan, dia berulang kali dibawa berjumpa bomoh dan setiap kali ‘dirawat’ dia semakin terseksa kerana diberi makan benda pelik hingga muntah.

“Bila saya terangkan secara baik kepada anak yang saya tidak pernah membela hantu, saya dimarahi dan dimaki kerana dikatakan cuba menipu dan memberi alasan tidak mahu dipisahkan dengan hantu yang dibela.

“Sudahlah dikurung, saya dibiarkan saja dalam bilik dan tidak dibenarkan bergaul dengan cucu sekalipun. Saya hanya dilayan oleh pembantu rumah,” katanya.

Kemuncak penganiayaan terhadap Aminah, satu hari anak lelakinya menghantarnya ke sebuah pusat jagaan orang tua selepas berbohong dengan berkata ingin membawanya berubat di tempat lain.

Aminah berkata, walaupun kecewa dengan sikap ketiga-tiga anaknya, dia masih tetap menerima mereka jika insaf dan sedar perbuatan mereka.

“Hanya Allah tahu perasaan saya, tetapi saya selalu berdoa semoga mereka diberi petunjuk oleh Allah dan saya sedia memaafkan mereka,” katanya yang tinggal di pusat jagaan itu sejak lebih setahun lalu.

KES 2:
SETIAP kali tiba tarikh sambutan Hari Ibu, Zawiah terkenang sejarah hitam dua tahun lalu apabila menerima 15 jahitan di lengan akibat dikelar dengan pisau oleh anak lelakinya.

Suaminya yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Amin turut dipukul dengan kayu besbol ketika cuba menyelamatkan nyawa isterinya.

Mengimbau detik cemas kejadian itu, Zawiah berkata, ia berlaku ketika dia dan suami baru selesai menjamah sarapan pagi di rumah.

Katanya, ketika sibuk mengemas pinggan di dapur, anak lelaki sulungnya berusia 27 tahun dikenali sebagai Zul serta cucu tunggal mereka berusia sembilan tahun tiba di rumah untuk bersarapan.

“Itu menjadi kebiasaan mereka selepas Zul bercerai dengan isterinya. Sebelum itu, apabila bekas menantu bercerita mengenai sikap Zul dan pembabitannya dalam penagihan dadah, saya tidak percaya kerana dia anak yang baik.

“Namun tanggapan saya berubah selepas menjumpai beberapa biji pil dan ‘buku lima’ dalam poket seluar Zul ketika mahu membasuh pakaiannya kira-kira sebulan sebelum kejadian. Apapun, saya dan suami tidak berani bertanya perkara itu berikutan dia baru bercerai.

“Namun, sikap berdiam diri kami membawa padah apabila Zul tiba-tiba ‘mengamuk’ tengah hari itu selepas dipercayai berada dalam pengaruh dadah jenis pil kuda,” katanya ketika ditemui di rumahnya di Kubang Kerian, Kelantan.

Menurutnya, Zul menyerangnya secara tiba-tiba dengan sebilah pisau tanpa diketahui punca sebenar.

“Saya menahan serangannya, menyebabkan lengan saya luka teruk akibat dikelar,” katanya yang kini menjaga anak Zul selepas anaknya dipenjarakan di atas kesalahan itu.

Lebih mengecewakan Zawiah, pada malam (kejadian) itu dia dan suami sepatutnya dibawa keluar oleh seorang lagi anaknya untuk makan di sebuah restoran di bandar ini sempena sambutan Hari Ibu.

“Namun segala-galanya berubah sekelip mata apabila kami berdua terlantar seminggu di hospital akibat kejadian itu.

“Sempena Hari Ibu, saya berdoa ke hadrat Ilahi semoga Zul insaf sebaik dibebaskan dan sebagai ibu, saya sentiasa memaafkannya walaupun parut di lengan masih berbekas,” katanya.

KES 3:
“BIAR kau mampus cepat, orang tua!” Itu antara kata-kata anak lelaki tunggalnya yang menghantui fikiran Besah, 63, walaupun peristiwa itu berlaku lebih setahun lalu.

Bagi Besah, kejadian kepalanya dihantukkan ke lantai dapur oleh anak sehingga lebam dan bengkak seluruh muka tidak akan dilupai hingga ke akhir hayat.

“Semuanya akibat dadah. Sejak kecil, saya dan suami menjaganya seperti menatang minyak yang penuh. Malang akibat terlalu sayang, saya tidak menyekat pergerakannya, menyebabkan dia menjadi liar dan ingin kemewahan sedangkan kami keluarga miskin,” katanya.

Besah berkata, dia menyedari anaknya terjebak dengan dadah ketika bakal menduduki peperiksaan Sijil Peperiksaan Malaysia (SPM) selepas perangainya berubah daripada pendiam kepada seorang yang mudah naik angin.

Katanya, walaupun tahu anaknya menagih dadah, dia dan suami tidak melaporkannya kepada polis kerana tidak mahu anaknya merengkok dalam penjara, selain enggan mengaibkan nama keluarga.

“Kami pernah hantar dia tinggal bersama bapa saudaranya di Rantau Panjang, namun hanya bertahan seminggu apabila dia pulang ‘mengejut’ ke rumah.

“Sejak hari itu perangainya semakin menjadi-jadi dan paling mengejutkan, dia sanggup menjual seekor lembu milik ayahnya kepada seorang penduduk kampung dengan harga RM300 semata-mata untuk membeli dadah,” katanya ketika ditemui di rumahnya di Kota Bharu, Kelantan.

Paling kritikal, Besah akhirnya menjadi mangsa ‘dera’ anaknya. Ketika kejadian, dia seorang diri di dapur manakala suami, anak sulung serta dua lagi anaknya keluar bekerja dan bersekolah.

“Dia tiba-tiba muncul dan meminta wang RM100 dengan alasan hendak membeli pakaian. Saya tahu tujuan sebenarnya nak beli dadah, jadi saya membebel dan merayunya berhenti menagih dadah.

“Tanpa disangka dia menerkam saya hingga saya terjatuh. Bagai dirasuk syaitan, dia naik atas belakang saya, pegang rambut saya dan menghantuk muka saya ke lantai berulang kali.

“Saya menjerit kesakitan dan merayu supaya dia berhenti tapi dia tak peduli, malah muka saya terus dihantuk ke lantai hingga hidung berdarah. Syukur, ketika itu suami pulang dan menyelamatkan saya,” katanya.

Besah berkata, anaknya melarikan diri dan hanya pulang ke rumah seminggu selepas kejadian. Kini dia bekerja sebagai buruh binaan di Kuala Lumpur selepas gagal dalam SPM dan hanya pulang sekali ke kampung, Aidilfitri tahun lalu.

KES 4:
“SAYA dibuang macam sampah di perhentian bas,” kata seorang ibu yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Halimah, 87, menceritakan punca dia kini menumpang kasih di sebuah pusat jagaan orang tua.

Ibu malang itu berkata, biarpun hanya anak angkat, dia menjaganya dengan penuh kasih sayang sejak masih bayi, justeru tidak terlintas di fikirannya anak perempuannya tergamak berbuat demikian.

“Bila dia tinggalkan saya, saya menjerit memanggil namanya tapi dia tak hiraukan, sebaliknya memecut laju kenderaannya,” katanya.

Halimah berkata, lebih menghairankannya, anak perempuannya berusia 40-an itu berkahwin dengan imam dan tentu suaminya turut mengajarnya ilmu agama.

“Sebab itu saya tidak tahu di mana silapnya sehingga anak saya sanggup membuang saya seperti sampah walaupun tangan ini yang membesar dan menjaganya,” katanya.

Halimah berkata, selain seorang anak angkat perempuan, dia turut mempunyai tiga anak kandung lelaki tapi ketiga-tiga anaknya juga tidak ambil berat mengenai dirinya.

“Sebab itu saya tinggal dengan anak angkat saya tapi akhirnya dia juga membuang saya,” katanya.

Selepas ditinggalkan di perhentian bas, Halimah terpaksa ‘menginap’ empat bulan di hospital kerana tiada siapa tampil untuk menjaganya dan akhirnya dia dihantar ke rumah orang tua.

Ketika ditanya adakah dia akan memaafkan anaknya, Hanijah berkata, dia sudi menerima semula mereka biarpun selepas apa mereka lakukan terhadapnya kerana baginya, mereka itulah hartanya di dunia dan akhirat.

-myMetro

9 months 10 days of pregnancy, the pain of giving birth, and nurturing children from infants til being grown ups are tough-but mothers do not care, because of their endless love for their children.

But instead, what did these children did to their mothers? Treating them like slaves, like idiots, like they are rubbish!

Why can't they treat their mother nicely? OMG. Go to hell lah, to those ungrateful people like this.

Sakit hati.

Granny and Grandson Love Story. GROSS!

2010-05-09T01:01:00.004+10:00

Granny, 72, Having A Baby With Her Grandson

A grandmother has shocked her friends and family after revealing she is having a baby with her own grandson.

The incestuous couple are 46 years apart (picture: New Idea magazine)

Pearl Carter, 72, says she has never been happier after beginning an incestuous relationship with her 26-year-old grandchild Phil Bailey.

The pensioner, from Indiana, US, is using her pension to pay a surrogate mother so they can have a child, reports New Zealand's New Idea magazine.

She said: "I'm not interested in anyone else's opinion. I am in love with Phil and he's in love with me.

"Soon I'll be holding my son or daughter in my arms and Phil will be the proud dad."

Her lover is the son of Pearl's daughter Lynette Bailey - who she put up for adoption when she was 18-years-old.

When his mother passed away, Phil tracked down his long lost grandmother and they quickly fell in love.

Pearl told New Idea magazine: "From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship.

"For the first time in years I felt sexually alive."

It was during their second week together, after dinner and wine, that Pearl made her move.

"I called Phil into my bedroom, sat him on the bed, and then I leant over and kissed him," she added.

"I expected rejection but instead he kissed me back."

Phil revealed: "I wanted to kiss her there and then. My feelings were overwhelming.

"I love Pearl with all my heart. I've always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous. Now I'm going to be a dad and I can't wait.

"Yes, we get laughed at and bullied when we go out and kiss in public but we don't care. You can't help who you fall for."

The pair paid $54,000 (£35,000) to find a surrogate mother and buy a donor egg to inseminate with Phil's sperm.

They placed an advert asking for an open-minded surrogate, and Roxanne Campbell applied.

"Initially I was shocked," says Roxanne, 30. "But they're a brilliant pair and I saw how much they loved each other. I know the baby will be loved too."

Pearl said: "I am finally going to be a mum and not forced to give up my child. Phil's going to be a great dad.

"I never in a million years thought at 72 I'd be 'pregnant' and in love with my grandson.

"I make no apologies and I believe God's given me a second chance."

-SkyNews HD

THIS IS SO NOT NORMAL.

THIS IS SICK!!!!!!!!!

Tolonglahhhhh.

"From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship"?

"For the first time in years I felt sexually alive"?

"I make no apologies and I believe God's given me a second chance"?

Oh my gosh this is SO WRONG.

I wonder what kind of "second chance" would God gives you for banging your own grandson. And wanting to have a baby with him? Eww.

*BARF*

Vegemite=iSnack2.0?

2010-05-09T00:52:00.002+10:00

Aussies choke on new name

SYDNEY: The 48,000 Australians who entered a competition to name a new cheesy version of iconic foodstuff Vegemite were not the only ones dismayed yesterday when they learned the winner was iSnack2.0.

Marketing consultant Tom O'Donnell declared Kraft Foods Australia had made a “very stupid decision” in choosing a software-style name for a breakfast spread.

It's the first Vegemite variant in 85 years and follows product testing that involved 300,000 Australians. Kraft Foods spokesman Simon Talbot defended iSnack2.0, saying it was chosen “based on its personal call to action,
relevance to snacking and clear identification of a new and different Vegemite to the original.”

The original – described by one non-fan as “dark, salty muck made from leftover brewers’ yeast” - has sold over one billion jars.

-The Malay Mail

For those Vegemite lovers..

What's with the new name? Why sounding so tech-savvy? Hee no offense :)

And I still don't understand why locals love this stuff so much. To eat them on toast for breakfast? Umm Okayyyy.

Well anyway, up to them. Vegemite is kinda turning into like some sort of a culture here, I think.

Selera masing-masing. ;)

yay :)

2010-05-09T00:46:00.005+10:00

First Muslim women make UK parliament

Britain's first female Muslim members of parliament celebrated on Friday after winning seats in the general election.
Rushanara Ali, the first person of Bangladeshi origin to be elected to the British parliament, stood for Prime Minister Gordon Brown's Labour Party. She won the east London seat of Bethnal Green and Bow with a comfortable majority.
'To millions of Bangladeshis around the world, it will mean so much to them that somebody of their background has been elected to the mother of all parliaments,' said the 35-year-old, who was born in Sylhet and moved to east London when she was seven.
East London is the heart of the Bangladeshi community in Britain. Some street signs around the Brick Lane area are written in English and Bengali.
Labour's Shabana Mahmood and Yasmin Qureshi also feted being among the first wave of Muslim women ever elected to the House of Commons.
Mahmood won the seat of Birmingham Ladywood in Britain's second city. The constituency has the highest percentage claiming unemployment benefits in Britain.
Mahmood was born and bred in Birmingham. She studied at Oxford University, then became a lawyer.
She described her victory as 'a real breakthrough'.
'I think it sends a powerful message... Parliament should reflect the people it represents.'
Qureshi, 46, a Pakistani-born lawyer, moved to Britain when she was nine. She was elected in Bolton, northwest England.
'I'm absolutely delighted. Obviously, I am very pleased the voters of Bolton South East chose a Labour candidate and elected a Labour MP.
'It is a truly humbling experience and I promise to work very hard for the constituents.'
-courtesy of SkyNews Aust.

Saya tumpang gembira dengan berita ini :)

to the most special person..

2010-05-09T00:12:00.005+10:00

Them back home are celebrating Mother's Day currently. And I'm not thereeeeeeeee :(

Anyways, to my dearest Mama, even though I already gave you a wish just now on the phone, I just wanted to state it here again.

Mama, you're the most awesome person that I've known my whole life, you are very strong-willed and great, I'm proud of you for being such a wonderful person to everyone, and I'm a million times prouder that you are my mum, and for being your daughter.

I'm sorry for making you sad, angry and disappointed throughout all 21 years of my life, and I hope that I can always make you happy and proud of me. I won't let you down again, Ma.

I love you, I love you, I love you, and this is the first time that I am far away from you and unable to celebrate the wonderful day with you and to greet you in person. How I wish I'm there with you and the rest now.

Happy Mother's Day! xoxo.

who says age is a barrier?

2010-05-08T23:34:00.004+10:00

Woman, 92, sky dives on birthday

KEENE (New Hampshire): A 92-year-old woman has celebrated her birthday by sky-diving from a plane at 4,000 metres. Swanzey resident Jane Bockstruck told The Keene Sentinel newspaper she didn't know what overcame her when she decided to take the parachute jump.

With a group of friends and relatives watching, Bockstruck leaped on Sept 19 at the Jumptown sky-diving club in Orange, Massachussetts, west of Boston.

She says she doesn't remember jumping from the plane.

But tandem partner and jump instructor Paul Peckham Jr said she had perfect form and landed without a hitch.

He said she's the oldest person he's taken on a jump. The second-oldest was 78.

Bockstruck says she's been married seven times, has travelled the world and has had jobs ranging from hotel desk clerk to seamstress for the John Wayne movie True Grit.

-courtesy of The Malay Mail

Now that's one cool old lady.

Can i be like her when I'm old? Well definitely not the "married seven times" part tho hohoho. :D

LEGENDARY~

Kurang ajar sungguh!

2010-05-08T13:36:00.005+10:00

Akal ‘cucu pelesit'

MUAR: Tiada nama lebih sesuai selain daripada ‘cucu pelesit’ untuk menggambarkan kelakuan buruk seorang remaja perempuan berusia 14 tahun yang tergamak berpakat dengan rakan lelaki berusia 15 tahun untuk merompak nenek sendiri yang berusia 75 tahun.

Bagi melengkapkan komplot jahatnya itu, remaja terbabit turut bersekongkol dengan seorang wanita berusia 40-an yang bertindak merampas wang tunai dan menyelongkar barang kemas nenek pelajar tingkatan dua itu di rumah mereka di Kampung Jawa, Panchor, dekat sini, kira-kira jam 11 pagi semalam.

Kejadian malang itu bermula apabila mangsa, Ruliah Abu Bakar sedang berehat bersama ‘cucu pelesit’ itu sebelum tiba-tiba didatangi dua suspek yang menaiki motosikal secara berasingan.

Ruliah berkata, wanita berusia 40-an itu bersama remaja lelaki berusia lingkungan 15 tahun terbabit memberi salam sebelum cucunya menyuruh mereka masuk ke rumah.

Menurutnya, dia dapat mengecam suspek wanita yang dikenali sebagai Ila kerana berkawan rapat dengan cucunya serta sering berkunjung ke rumah itu.

“Saya ingatkan mereka datang untuk jumpa cucu saya saja. Tiba-tiba seorang daripada mereka bertindak kasar dengan menekup muka saya menggunakan kain.

“Saya terkejut dan cuba melawan tapi apakan daya, tenaga orang tua tak terlawan mereka berdua,” katanya ketika ditemui di rumahnya.

Malah, Ruliah berkata, dia diperlakukan dengan kejam dan tidak berhati perut apabila seorang daripada penjenayah itu menyerkup kepalanya dengan anak tudung dipakainya sebelum mengikat tangan menggunakan kain batik yang dipintal.

Ruliah cuba meminta pertolongan daripada cucunya, namun tanpa disangka remaja perempuan itu bersekongkol dengan penjenayah terbabit dengan membantu mereka.

“Kemudian saya dipaksa berbaring sebelum seorang daripada mereka merampas perca kain berikat getah berisi wang tunai kira-kira RM300,” katanya.

“Tidak puas hati dengan hasil rompakan berkenaan, cucu yang saya sayangi itu kemudian menyuruh dua rakannya masuk ke bilik dan menyelongkar almari sebelum mereka melarikan barangan kemas termasuk cincin dan rantai,” katanya.

Ternyata, kasih sayang seorang nenek masih menebal apabila perilaku kejam cucunya itu sanggup diketepikan apabila Ruliah berkata kepada remaja itu, ‘jangan pergi’.

Malangnya, remaja terbabit tidak mengendahkan larangan Ruliah dan meninggalkan mangsa keseorangan dalam keadaan mata tertutup dan tangan diikat.

Selang 15 minit kemudian, Ruliah berjaya melepaskan diri sebelum meminta tolong jiran dan melaporkan perkara itu kepada polis.

Akibat rompakan dirancang cucu sendiri, Ruliah kerugian RM1,000 termasuk wang tunai dan barang kemas.

Sementara itu, anak Ruliah yang juga ibu remaja terbabit, Hasinah Samad, 54, berkata, dia tiada di rumah ketika kejadian kerana bekerja di sebuah kilang perabot di Pagoh, manakala suaminya, Harun Othman masih menerima rawatan di hospital sejak tiga hari lalu akibat batuk kering.

Menurut Hasinah, sebaik dimaklumkan jirannya kira-kira jam 1 tengah hari, dia segera menelefon anak tunggalnya itu, namun gagal.

Malah, cubaan menghubungi rakan jenayah anaknya juga gagal kerana mereka mematikan telefon bimbit masing-masing.

Hasinah menyatakan anaknya seorang yang pintar serta bijak dalam pelajaran, namun perangainya berubah selepas mengenali Ila sejak awal tahun ini.

“Perangainya banyak berubah termasuk sering berkelakuan kasar terhadap keluarga dan kerap ponteng sekolah,” katanya.

Biarpun kecewa denganperlakuan anaknya, dia tetap berharap remaja itu kembali ke pangkuan keluarga.

“Tolonglah balik, emak merayu sangat-sangat. Semua yang terjadi ini kita selesaikan dengan cara yang baik. Walau apa terjadi, baik atau buruk kita harungi bersama,” luah ibu malang terbabit.

Sementara itu, Ketua Polis Daerah, Asisten Komisioner Mohamad Nasir Ramli, ketika dihubungi mengesahkan kejadian terbabit tetapi belum ada tangkapan dilakukan.

-courtesy of myMetro

May that granddaughter rot in hell for robbing her own poor 75-year-old grandmother.

Kalau anak aku, tak balik pun takpe, biar mampus je kat luar tu (quoted from my roomie haha)

What is happening to youngsters these days, we got the geniuses with zillions of A's in their results and the horrible human beings who are rebels and trying to grow up too fast such as this one. Isn't there any more decent teenagers who act like their own age?

Siapa Salah Sekarang?

2010-05-08T12:46:00.003+10:00

JASWINDER, a school principal from Kuala Lumpur, is disappointed that the Ministry of Education did not offer a scholarship to her top SPM student KAVEENA.

"I stared at the newpapers on the day of the announcement with disbelief when I found that my top student was not among the 30 offered scholarships," says JASWINDER.

"KAVEENA has a super-score of 14A+ and an A for her 1119 English Paper, making it a total of 15As," she says.

JASWINDER feels her student was marginalised because she is from a national private school.

She says the recognition is denied despite national private schools being subjected to the same syllabus as national government schools.

She adds that KAVEENA is also a Sukma athlete and a versatile student in other activities.

● A SPOKESMAN for the Education Ministry says there is no discrimination in KAVEENA'S case.

She says that KAVEENA'S rank in the overall national standings of SPM achievers is below the top 30 in the country and thus she was not awarded a scholarship.

She adds that the selection for scholarships is based on a merit system practised by the government.

"However, the Ministry will allow KAVEENA to request and check her standings among the top 255 SPM A+ achievers with the Director of the Malaysian Examinations Board.

-courtesy of The Malay Mail (click here to read the article and the readers' comments below, veryyyy interesting)

15A's also couldn't deserve a scholarship?

Who's to be blamed here? Is it the fact that the student is from a private school thus doesn't recognized to be one of the top 30 to be awarded a scholarship?

Or is because, I don't know, the top 30 students all got 16A's and above?

Oh wow budak-budak zaman sekarang semakin smart and genius.

Dah besar nanti jangan jadi penyangak sudehhhh v(^_^)v

rememberrrrrrr.

2010-05-07T22:34:00.005+10:00

My sweet, sweet Mama called just now. Had a long talk with her and Kak San. Awww so nice. I miss them! And my bro and sis too. Oh I miss home. :)

Hmm seems that many people are going back home this coming winter break. What I'm going to do here in between my last assignment submission in the middle of June and Sue's coming over from Brisbane at the end of June? I'm going to rot in boredom at home.

But not to mention, full day relaxation, bermalas-malasan and movie marathon sampai puasssss!

Oh yeah.

But if it weren't for the late date of submission of the recently released assignment, I think, I THINK, I might consider on going back home for 3 weeks before those from Brissy comes here in the end of June.

HAHAHA as if. Macamlah ticket murah sangat. Sengal. Sabarrrr. Have to remind myself again and again that I'll be going back for a short break in the end of August. Yay! :)

Enough from me today, going to sleep after this, have to recharge myself from not getting any sleep last night due to working on an assignment. Speaking of which, when should I start finishing up the other part of this assignment? Tomorrow lah! (Semangaaaattttt)

Ciao!

Abducted by aliens, seriously....?

2010-05-07T20:21:00.005+10:00

Tokoh politik Rusia dakwa diculik makhluk asing

MOSCOW - Presiden Rusia, Dmitry Medvedev didesak untuk mengarahkan siasatan terhadap seorang pemimpin politik terkenal, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov (gambar) yang mendakwa dirinya diculik oleh sekumpulan makhluk asing, lapor sebuah akhbar semalam.

Ilyumzhinov memberitahu seorang pengacara stesen televisyen Channel One, Vladimir Pozner pada 26 April lalu bahawa dia pernah menghabiskan masa selama berberapa jam dengan beberapa makhluk asing itu.

Dia mendakwa makhluk asing itu memakai sut angkasa berwarna kuning dan mirip seperti manusia.

Menurutnya, makhluk itu telah melawat apartmen yang didiaminya di pinggir Moscow pada 18 September 1997.

Ahli politik tersebut mendakwa dia diberi peluang untuk terbang dengan kapal angkasa makhluk asing itu.

Ekoran pendedahan itu, seorang ahli Parlimen Rusia, Andre Lebedev menggesa pihak berkuasa untuk melakukan siasatan dan meminta pemimpin-pemimpin politik diberi garis panduan apa yang perlu dilakukan jika diculik oleh makhluk asing.

Dalam sepucuk surat kepada Medvedev, Lebedev menyuarakan kebimbangan jika maklumat rahsia negara bocor kepada makhluk asing itu.

Dia menganggap dakwaan Ilyumzhinov sebagai bukan gurauan kerana ia merupakan peristiwa bersejarah.

Ilyumzhinov yang menerajui pentadbiran wilayah Kalmykia di tepi Laut Kaspia itu memiliki reputasi berpengaruh dengan menjadikan wilayahnya sebagai tuan rumah banyak kejohanan catur antarabangsa.

Dia ialah jutawan dan bekas ahli perniagaan.

Ketika ditemuramah oleh pengacara stesen televisyen itu, katanya, dia terjaga daripada tidur apabila terdengar seseorang memanggilnya dari balkoni dan melihat sebuah kapal angkasa yang mempunyai bentuk seperti separuh tiub dan telus.

Menurutnya, dia tidak tahu berkomunikasi dengan makhluk itu tetapi menganggap pertemuan itu sebagai cara bertukar-tukar idea ketika dibawa menaiki pesawat.

Dia berkata, makhluk asing itu datang ke bumi untuk mengambil sampel. - Agensi

(courtesy of Kosmo! online)

What in the world is this?

Believe it or not? Do aliens really exist? Why is he making such a speculation, sedangkan he is a well-known politician?

Peliknya dunia sekarang.

road bullies still exist?

2010-05-07T20:11:00.003+10:00

Man turns violent, spits on, slaps woman driver

PETALING JAYA: What would have been just another routine Monday morning rush hour battle to work turned into a terrifying experience for medical researcher Munira Noor, 26, when she encountered a violent road bully.

Munira told The Malay Mail she was driving along Section 17 here when an accident occurred: "A van suddenly veered into my lane and collided into my car. I stopped by the roadside and stepped out to ask for an explanation."

Although the van driver stopped by the roadside as well, he initially refused to wind down his windows. When Munira kept tapping on it, she said: "The driver rolled down his window and he next thing I knew, he spat in my face!"

Munira then snapped a few pictures of the driver and the plate number of the vehicle from inside her car.

Realising what she was doing, the driver rushed out of his vehicle and attempted to smash her car's windscreen with his bare hands. He then allegedly shoved his hand in through her car window and slapped her.

Munira said the burly van driver, described as a man in his mid-40s, allegedly hurled derogatory and sexist remarks at her, but left when a crowd began to gather.

"I was traumatised by the attack," she said. "I didn't expect such creatures to exist in this country. Road rage, to the extent of causing distress to other roadusers, is incomprehensible."

Petaling Jaya district police chief ACP Arjunaidi Mohamed said police were investigating the case.

"We will pursue the suspect in this incident." -courtesy of The Malay Mail

OMG, honestly?

Spitting a stranger to her (or another man's) face is really terrible, but to slap that person? If it were me, I would have sue that damn old man. Stupid male bully. Grrr.

nice, isn't it?

2010-05-07T03:29:00.003+10:00

Hmm supposedly I finish up my assignments.

And instead, I spent the last couple of hours browsing new template for my blog. *shoots myself*

But I loveeeeeeee the new look! And its been ages since I changed the layout.

Okay now I really have to get on with work.

And its been confirmed that I deserved NO sleep tonight. *its now 3.30am*

Well at least I've taken nearly an hour nap a few hours ago.

Hooray for me.

Need more coffee. My 3rd (or is it 4th?) in less than 24 hours.

Write more later.

May madness.

2010-05-07T01:09:00.003+10:00

Oh gosh its May alreadyyyyyyyyyy.

And I can just feel that I'm drowned by assignments so far.

Did I mention that I don't have exams, just tonnes and tonnes of assignments?

I didn't, did I?

Well, you see, I just get to know that my course doesn't exactly do exams. At least, not for this semester. I don't know how it's going to be after this.

Like what my sister said when I called my family back home a few days ago, "Sekda exam? Jadi nak dibelajar kau ya sia-sia jaklah?" And we cracked ourselves up. Haha.

Maybe, for my perception, when learning, there would always be some sort of examinations in the end, to test our knowledge on what we've learned for the past semester. But now, when not doing exams, it feels kinda weird. Haha.

Anyways, exams or no exams, its just still the same I guess.

And did I mentioned that I'm currently drowning in my assignments?

With lots and lots of coffee to keep me up all day and night lately, I'm afraid I to excuse myself now to continue to drown in my sea of assignments.

Ciao.

p/s: can't wait for winter break. I'm going to be freeeee as a birdddddd after submitting final assignment on 15th June! (still a long way to go, and still so much to do.. and still a lot of drowning act) Nak balek tapi ticket mahalllllll! :( Thankfully some friends from Brissy will be coming here soon! :D

p/s/s: Did a test this afternoon. But.... I don't think I did so well. Alaa :(

curse

2010-05-05T22:33:00.004+10:00

This. Is. A. Nightmare.

Click here to read --> 'Suami Toreh Anu Isteri'

Pffffttttt. Enough said. Menyakitkan hati okay.

Violence towards women is getting worse. Especially being violated by own husbands. Where is the love peopleeeeeeeeeeeee???

Sheeshhh.

aduh.. malu!

2010-05-05T22:12:00.005+10:00

Gasak Kekasih Suami dalam Wad

SUBANG JAYA: Berang selepas mengetahui suaminya menjalinkan hubungan cinta terlarang dengan gadis lain, seorang wanita sanggup bergelut dengan kekasih suaminya itu sehingga luka di muka akibat dilibas dengan tapak kasut oleh gadis yang menjadi sasarannya.

Difahamkan, isteri berusia 46 tahun itu terlebih dahulu bertengkar dengan teman wanita suaminya berusia 30-an sebelum pergaduhan kedua-dua mereka berlanjutan sehingga berlaku pergelutan dan aksi tarik menarik rambut dalam wad sebuah hospital swasta di sini.

Ketika kejadian kira-kira jam 9.45 malam kelmarin, suami wanita itu membawa kekasihnya menziarahi seorang saudaranya yang dirawat di hospital berkenaan sebelum terserempak isterinya.

Sumber polis berkata, siasatan mendapati suami wanita terbabit berusia 51 tahun dan juga pesara tentera pernah menjalin hubungan sulit dengan wanita lain sebelum ini.

Menurutnya, dalam kejadian itu, lelaki terbabit tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa apabila kedua-dua wanita berkenaan bergelut sehingga mencetuskan kekecohan dalam wad hospital berkenaan.

“Difahamkan lelaki itu yang tiba lebih awal tidak menyangka isterinya turut merancang menziarahi saudara mereka.

“Akibatnya, mereka bertembung. Akibat terlalu marah dan cemburu, si isteri memarahi teman wanita suaminya sebelum berlaku perang mulut,” katanya.

Menurutnya, akibat tidak dapat menahan marah, kedua-dua wanita terbabit bergelut tanpa menghiraukan orang ramai yang menyaksikan insiden itu.

“Difahamkan, kedua-dua wanita itu tidak hanya memaki-hamun, malah turut bertumbuk dan saling menarik rambut.

“Difahamkan, teman wanita suami mangsa lebih kuat dan dapat menewaskan isteri teman lelakinya itu,” katanya.

Dalam pergelutan itu, kekasih suami mangsa sempat mencabut kasut dipakainya sebelum memukul muka mangsa.

“Muka mangsa luka akibat dilibas dengan kasut sebelum pergaduhan dileraikan.

“Wanita itu terpaksa menerima dua jahitan di muka kerana luka akibat dipukul dengan kasut. “Mangsa kemudian membuat laporan berhubung kejadian itu di balai polis berhampiran,” katanya. - Courtesy of myMetro

Well, what I wanted to say about this..

The Wife: Losing your temper and got into a fight with your husband's mistress in public is so not cool.

The Mistress: Dating other people's husband is extra not cool. Not good at all.

The Husband aka Cheating Bastard: At 51 years of age, can't you do something else that benefits you other than cheating your wife with someone much much younger than you? Eww. And bringing her to visit your relative who is being admitted in the ward at the hospital. Very-very wise move. NOT! Ha-ha!

Urgh apa nak jadi..

what is happening???

2010-05-04T22:49:00.004+10:00

I think for the last few days, I spent my time surfing the net for some useful resources for my assessment. Then I ended up reading a few major Malaysian online news, just for the sake of updating myself with what is happening back home. But the things that I read from the news were, as usual, shocking and frustrating. What is happening to Malaysia now? And the people in it??

First would be the 14-year-old teenager shot by the police. I know its a serious matter, but I never thought it would be such a big issue currently. And God knows in this case who should be blamed, the late teen or the police authority? Yes, driving out and pick up a friend to go for drinks are very normal, but being 14 year old, driving without a license and at 2am? Em I don't want to comment much about that though.

And the police? While chasing the car (which they suspected as robbers running away), they shot the car, tyres, then an unfortunate bullet hit the teen's back head and he died on his friend's lap while his foot still on the pedal and car still moving. Then the car crashed into a wall and the other boy got out of the car to surrender himself, then was assaulted by 5 policemen, then managed to run away. Later he saw in the news that he and his friend were accused as robbers so he lodged a police report about the incident.

So the questions are..

Why the police shot so many times? Isn't it considered dangerous to release numerous shots in public and open spaces, while chasing a car? Some says they shot 27 times. True or not, Wallahualam.

Then why hadn't the friend of the late teen lodge a police report right after the incident? And why waited at home and seemed to do nothing about it until he saw the news about them accused as robbers? Maybe he's scared at that time. Well who doesn't? A friend was shot while driving and died on your lap. That incident will haunt him forever. Hmm.

Then.. What's with the assaults fellow policemen?? Can't they see that he's just a kid, a 14-year-old? Why can't they handle the matter professionally? But then, maybe the situation was difficult that time. Ah I don't know. Not fair for us to judge any of this matter because we simply are not at that place at that time, isn't it?

Anyhow, my sympathy goes to the family of the late teen. What an awful way to die. May this be a lesson to everyone.

Oh yes, another news that caught my attention was a woman died after being hit by his husband, simply because she talked on the phone with another man. What the hell??? Imagine being kicked and punched and whatsoever horrible things by your own husband, in front of your 12-year-old son. That is so damn terrible lah. Jealousy has its limit, control your jealousy and rage, don't let them turn you into a monster!!!!

Seriously, I hate men like this. Stupid. Scary lah such thing would happened back home. What is happening now? What would happen after this?...

Again, scary.

getaway.

2010-05-02T21:23:00.005+10:00

My act during the last weekend really amazed me somehow.

After writing the previous post, I bought return tickets to Brisbane from Sunday to Wednesday midnight. I love meeting up with one of my best friends who is studying there currently, and Brisbane is such a nice place. After 8 years, I came to Brisbane again, and its funny how I don't remember at all what did I see and where did I go during that trip 8 years ago. Oh well, that's always been my problem. I don't seem to have a very good memory hoho~

Well anyways, I don't even know why I decided to come to Brisbane so suddenly after all. Maybe wanted to have a change of place for a while? A peace of mind? I don't know. But what I know is, I'm excited to meet up with my dear friend, but I was really excited to go back to Melbourne. Yeah, I miss my house and my housemates a lotttt during the short time I went away. Lucu. Hehehe ;)

So what is waiting for me back in Melbourne? Work. Heaps and heaps of them. 3 assignments due this month, and another 2 waiting to be submitted (and done, or started on, obviously), next month. Bosan okay. And exams are around the corner. Will be starting next month too. Tomorrow the exam timetable would be released. Argh I don't like the fact that exams are getting near! Everything seem to speed up now. Hish.

And its been more than a week since I deactivated my Facebook. Sure, its where everyone is on now, and truthfully that is the most useful medium for me to be connected with my family, best friends, friends from all over the place and absolutely with everyone that I know. But somehow I think lately there seemed to be a bunch of crap in it. And I get to know things that I don't really want to know. And people can get to know what absolutely I don't want people to know. You know, the thing with "privacy"? Haha. And its really annoying to see whatsoever things that people posted in there. Some, or should I say 'most', just wanted to show off to the world. With thousands of friends in the list, hundreds of photo albums, and countless status updates every minute of every hour of every day. I mean, tolonglahhhh. That's all that I can say. Hahaha. So to make things easier, I just deactivated my account all together and God knows when I'm going to activate it again.

Enough lah. More later.

Bitter heart.

2010-04-24T10:11:00.005+10:00

Ever wondered why bitterness can ever come to us? Locked up in our hearts, then poisoning our minds the effecting our characters and behaviours? Bitterness can be eye-openers to some, a reality check, the hard way to see the truth.

Well being bitter is not my nature. Honestly, I'm no fan of bitterness. But somehow, there are times when I couldn't help but being bitter, for a change. It's not something that I want, too. It's automatic. Very automatic. Maybe even too automatic. I don't like this. It's not me, you know? It's like I'm someone else.

Yes, I can feel that I'm changing. I don't know if this is temporary or not. I hope it's not.

I don't feel like talking. Heck, I don't feel like going around meeting people. Or socialize. Or whatsoever. I feel like shutting myself up in my room. Or even better, shutting myself in my own room. At home. My lovely home that I miss so much.

Maybe what someone told me was true after all. About being a loner when arrived here. I'm scared that I'll become one. That would be terrible.

I'm also scared that this is the peak of the worst moment in my life. Where everything is in shambles. Where everything suck. Where everything just doesn't seem right. Where in the end, I just can't help but hating myself.

And that's where bitterness started coming to get me. Hope this would end soon.

Harsh.

2010-04-21T19:08:00.003+10:00

Last week and this week are the toughest time for me so far. :(

Whats with assignments, bad bad fever, terrible coughing and flu, sudden change of weather and err 'time-of-the-month' emo effect, have been bugging me! Not to mention the stupid and slow internet connection at home that is making me stay for a long, long time at the library for the past few days. Argghhh!

And the feeling of homesickness.. Just a bit. But hell, I feel like I wanna go home! Can't wait for August. Seems far away though. Have to go through another mountains of assignment submissions and exam period. Takut. :(

All of these are getting on my nerves. Please please please don't make me feel like a loser and a complete idiot. That's the last thing that I needed now. Urm.

dancing in the moonlight (oh i wish!)

2010-04-16T02:16:00.003+10:00

I've been so freakingly busy this week! And next week! I have 2 assignments to pass up this week and the next. omg I don't like this. Have to crack my head real hard, and this particular head couldn't work on assignments until it is due in a few days time. Damn head. Sometimes I'm sick of this 'doing last minute' habit. But its hard to get rid of the nasty habit! Erk.

Anyways, nothing much happening recently. Melbourne getting colder. And as the result, I'm having a fever. And a nasty, endless coughing. Tak suka. Menyusahkan sungguh. And had stomachaches the whole week. And bad headaches too, for a few times during this week. Being emo and feeling down and talking silly stuff and crap since last week. Turns out that I'm having the time of the month this morning. Patutlah teruk sangat. Adding one more point to my oh-so-great week. Boring.

Buttttt the great thing about this week is, one, my great roomie found cheap airasia tickets a few days ago. Flights to Malaysia during the end of August. SERIOUS MURAH SUMPAH! And guess what, I'll be back home for 2weeks! lovelove this! :D yay sempat puasa and raya di Kch oh I like!

Andddd another great thing is, well, happened just yesterday. 15th April. A date to remember. Feeling happy la jugak. Thank you ya someone. :)

There goes.

2010-04-09T00:27:00.003+10:00

A few days ago, on a very early morning, I wrote quite an emotional post in this blog. Very short and precise, I just had to write in something to witness the pain that struck me in the heart at the time.

The heart. Pumping blood now and then. Emotions running through the veins. A feeling I held and kept for so long, mending the wound from past failed relationships, building a hope for such a long period of time.

Now wasted. Because reality finally hits and the truth came out eventually.

Waiting patiently for someone has been one of my worst mistakes that I made. Lies were thrown to me, before the truth fell upon. But all's done. Things will never be like I dreamed it will be, that is for sure. I could see it coming, actually. But not like this. Certainly, not being lied upon like this.

Crush. Massive, massive crush. Sometimes you'll get lucky, other times you don't. But having a crush for someone for a few years then finally being destroyed in just a split second?

But I know that you're not worth it. So that's why I'm not giving that much thought anymore. Actually, I feel much better now, finally being 'of the hook', ending my anxiety all these while about when are you going to take some step towards us. Hah.

But just one thing. You said something about Jodoh? Wallahualam. If you don't mean it, don't dare to mention it, again.

p.s: Never ever hope for something that is out of reach or is clearly impossible.

sick.

2010-04-04T04:06:00.003+10:00

I didn't see this coming.

I feel like I'm falling into pieces. Being shot in the head by a gun. Heart being blown up violently.

To know that the awful truth of the one thing that you wanted for so long.

Reality slapped me in the face so badly that I wanted to cry my eyes out and shut myself in the room and not facing anyone at all.

Frustration, I'm sick of you.

Past, Present, Future

2010-03-29T23:08:00.003+11:00

Terasa nak type something lagi. Kenjet.

I had a long talk with Shayra this evening. We talked about our past, about who hated us once upon a time ago. Because last night Wanee told us more or less the same story, about guys who hated her during her days doing her preparatory studies, before coming to Melbourne. So Shayra and I talked about our own versions of being hated by certain guys as well.

She told me something that happened way back in high school, and I told her about E. I told everything that happened between us, what a loser he was (and still is kot). I think I took like, nearly 20minutes to sum up the story about him haha.. Shayra said all the right things to say, that I wanted to hear, and somehow it made me smile to hear another person supported me in the matter. Since I came here to Melbourne, I never even thought of E. Because I made a deal with myself before entering the new year that I wouldn't think of E anymore, or any of those people in my past. It was painful enough, and I wanted to buckle up and start a new chapter in the new year. :)

I think E still hates me like hell, ever since last year. Its not like I wanted to hold a grunge on him or anything, in fact I sent him a text before new year. But he didn't replied me back, so I just assumed that he still hates me. And I don't care anymore. I said sorry already, so it is up to him to forgive me or not.

(Current song on ipod: Superhuman by Chris Brown ft. Keri Hilson) - Memang super indeed.

It's funny how life turns out much different than we expected. Memanglah one couldn't expect what will happen in the future right. So for now, I'll just hand it to fate. Yeah true, I like a guy. For a long, long time now. But somehow.. I don't know. I think I finally surrender. I couldn't do it anymore. I had high hopes on him, but he just don't feel the same way as I do anymore maybe, not like what he said to me once upon a time..

(Current song: Skipalong by Lenka) - Not much skipping can be done in this matter.

So that's just it then. I'll just try my best to stay away. And maybe he'll be much much happier without me terhegeh-hegeh bothering him all these while. :) Patience has its limits, and mine has limits as well.

(Current song: Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry) - Err okay. Haha.

Looking on the bright side, I have terrific friends around me here. Who needs boys when you have great girlfriends around?

(Current song: Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3) - Yeah. Don't trust what I said. HAHA.

But seriously, having a boyfriend memang happy, but being single is fun. Cuci-cuci mata all around! Haha.

"Gedik-ing is the best medicine!" :) ciao!

*this post memang nampak crap and fictional but all the facts are true though :)

Another new week.

2010-03-29T22:35:00.004+11:00

Today is Monday.

Done my first ever presentation today for this semester (yay!). Alhamdulillah it was okay, we did well, and I'm proud of my group mates. :)

No class tomorrow, and 2 lectures on Wednesday, then... Easter break! :D

Uiii happy.

Its not like I have such tight schedule during the holidays. Just a few things to do and to go, and the rest are all about resting at home and do a bit of studying.

Ewah-ewah.

The weekend had been a blast. Friday night, startingnya only Shayra and I at home. Raz had her own plans, and Wanee was working, as usual. So we decided to do a poker night! (I don't know why we called it our 'poker night', sedangkan we didn't play any poker games pun hee). Shay cooked a simply scrumptious spaghetti goreng and told Faiz Rashdi to come along to the house, and asked him to bring other friends too. So starting from Faiz, then came Shida, then Put, then neighbours Azid and Shafiq and their friend Zaki, then Razlyn was back home and then followed by Wanee and boyfie, Syafiq. The house became crowded in a matter of an hour I guess, it was real cool and fun. In the end, they went back to the guys' house to play some Wii. And housemates and I gathered in me and Shay's room for some serious girltalks! :D

Then on Saturday afternoon, first we went to Shayra's friend's nye housewarming. Then proceed to ASAM Event at Malaysia Hall, and dropped by the house for a bit, then went to CS Swanston for a 'pot luck' and celebrating Earth Hour la konon-kononnya. But the real deal was, we wanted to throw a surprised birthday party for Dilos and Kelly :) Alhamdulillah the surprise worked really well and everybody had such a great time. Memang girls night out la!

And on Sunday (which was yesterday), went to Savers for a bit of shopping muahaha.. And spent the rest of the day at home :)

A really great weekend, and I'm happy that I enjoyed myself to the top. Coz I felt like I deserved some serious fun coz last week had been really really really chaotic and tiring :(

Eh turns out I was writing about my super duper weekend huh? Haha.

Enoughlah, don't know what else to write.

p.s: Saw a car with a plat number D U B A I a few days ago.

p.p.s: Saw another car with Q A T A R plat number today.

p.p.p.s: Could I have a F A R A H plat number? Or K C H S W K? Muahahaha.

p.p.p.p.s: I miss family and home and besties.

pouring my heart out.

2010-03-26T19:18:00.008+11:00

I have this "friend", you know. And this goes out to him.

Sometimes, I want to hate you so badly. I want to curse and yell at you with all my will, never wanted to hear your name ever again, never to see your face again, never even to make any more effort in getting to know you better and better.

But I know, that would be entirely impossible. Because I love you.

It hurts to just sit here and waiting. Patiently. Sometimes you made me feel special. Other times you treat me just like a friend of yours. And most of the times, well, I feel invisible in your life.

And the sad thing is, I think you'll find me ONLY if you need me.

What a life. Chasing over something (or someone) that doesn't even appreciate you. Or hoping for him or her to look at you or treat you as the same way as he or she did to other people. Sad, but true.

I hate you. Again. I hate you so much, but I somehow don't want to lose you.

Would it be better if you are far away from me? It would definitely help me to put you out of my life, you see. But now, you're here. Standing on the same land as I am now. Why couldn't I run away from you?

Sometimes I wish that I can tell you straight at your face, that I hate you and I want you to get out of my life, leave me alone, and never heard of you again. But I know I couldn't. I don't want to hurt you for saying such things. Or.. Maybe you just won't care, if I meant nothing to you.

Maybe some things are better left unsaid.

note to self!

2010-03-24T23:22:00.004+11:00

Why is it so hard to write and focus on assignments, whereas it is real easy to just get carried on while fb-ing and blogging.. Damn -_____-"

"Hello, you're doing your degree now. This is not diploma level or even spm okay. Those times, you can kid around. You can mess things up, you can fool around with yourself and god knows what that distracted you from studies during those times. But now, its different. You're away from home, nobody can support and help you here except yourself. Learn to accept reality, it isn't sweet, but you have to face it somehow. Focus on your studies, that's all you have to do now...."

Above is note to myself. Yes I'm scolding myself. Damn Farah, don't mess up again this time. Focus!

Just a sneak peek.

2010-03-24T19:49:00.003+11:00

Things are great here. So far.

The assignments are crazy, things to do in classes are equally mad but oh well, if you want to do easy stuff just pack up your things and fly back home, right? Not a chance. Muahaha.

Okay crap.

But at least I live in a comfy house and have nice housemates and friends around. Heeeeee *gedik mode*

Have to get back to work then. Or "trying" to do work. Ah damn, kepala2. Huh. Chaiyo2 to myself! More update later2 lah. :)

goodbye.

2010-02-14T03:30:00.004+11:00

The day finally arrives.

I'll be flying off to Melbourne in the morning, at 9.55am. What I'm feeling right now? Well, kinda numb I think. Coz everything is happening too fast I guess. So I'm still dazed a bit.. Saying goodbye is never good. And I done it last Thursday when I left Kuching. And I have to say goodbye again this morning as I leave KL. Aisey..

It's okay. Starting a new life in Melbourne is definitely a challenge. Have to get through it now or never. For 21 years, I've never being away from family and friends and my home, it's time to leave for good, to finally being independent, being able to stand on my own feet. :)

Okay, I just want to say here, thank you so much to my much beloved family and relatives for their utmost support and love for me. I'll sure miss them like crazy; my sis, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces,.. But I'm glad my mum and big bro will be going with me. But as the time comes for them to go back soon.. Adeh. Sik mok piker lok eh. Hohohoho -_-"

Secondly, to my best friends, OKNians, we've been friends for, like, 8 years now. We are getting stronger and stronger each year. I hope we'll be friends forever okay. Get old together hahaha! I love you guys so much! And also I would like to thank them for the surprise for me last Wednesday, I really didn't expect anything lah that night, but they managed to pull it off hahaha.. They gave me really nice cupcakes, for my belated birthday and to say farewell lah. Hehe. Oh and thank you Dani's and Miezah's family also. All of you are really great. :)

To my close friends, the awesome people that I met through out my life, from school til college, I thank you for being my dear friends. Old schoolmates, classmates, college mates that I get to know when I was in SK Gita, Kolej Abdillah and SEGi College, you guys are terrific! Thanks for the time we spent together, especially to my laptop's doctor Juki hehe, Fidza, Kelson and the others.. I'm gonna miss you guys so much! :)

As to the others, friends of the family, friends of friends, fb friends, teachers, colleagues, and people around my neighbourhood where I lived, thank you for your support. :)

And I'm really sorry to my friends yang mana2 sik sempat nak betemu and kua sama, coz time mmg limited and there were tonnes of stuff that I had to do sampey sik mengizinkan untuk spend time mena2 with everyone. I apologize greatly, and insyaAllah I'll make it up to you guys later when I'm back home.

Wish me luck, pray for me, and take care everyone! :)

so far, so good. :)

2010-02-08T03:17:00.004+11:00

Really felt extremely happy this week! :D

Spent an amount of time with family and entourage (entourage indah hahaha) to my mum's constituency for 3 days 2 nights to attend some functions. Tiring, but very interesting and fun lah. Haha. :)

Then last night I went to someone's makan selamat. He'll be flying off to Melbourne on Wednesday, a few days earlier than me. Good luck and wish you all the best. See you very soon. Hehe. :)

Today, went out with some of my besties (Sue, Aki, Miezah, Nisa), had a taste of Bella Italia for light lunch and Sushi King for heavier lunch. Hahaha. Had a great time eating out and window shopped and laughed out loud and everything. Love you guys loads!

And oh yeah, I received my belated birthday presents yesterday. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. :)

21. :)

2010-02-01T03:58:00.003+11:00

I'm officially 21. wee. :D

Just had my birthday recently, on 30th January. Wow how time flies.. Now its 1st February already. Oh my.. And I'll be leaving soon. :(

Anyways, this year's birthday was really meaningful to me. On the night of my birthday, ada "makan selamat" before I leave for my studies, plus to celebrate my birthday. After performing Maghrib and Isyak prayers, there was a "tepung tawar" session for the january babies haha.. then, I cut my (yummy) birthday cake, then the "makan seprah" started and everyone seemed to enjoy the food hehe :))

It was really great and I was so happy coz everyone wished me the best for my studies which I am really grateful for :) there's nothing better than people wishing the best for us, isn't it?

Hurm but I miss my late grandparents so much.. The morning of my birthday, my family and I went to visit their graves. I wish they are here with me. To be proud of me, to watch me build my future. Hurm. I love them so much. Semoga roh kedua-dua dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman, Amin..

So, for those who came that night, thank you for coming! And to my friends, ne yang sik terinvite, I'm really2 sorry, due to time constraint and being busy with stuffs and not being in Kch much nowadays and my own clumsiness, I forgot to invite a bunch of ppl :( sorry again! Ktkorg2, kelak kita kua sama okay. Roger2 jak :)

Age 21 and year 2010, you'd better be good. The beginning is awesome enough already, so be like that all the way! :D

Freaking out.

2010-01-27T03:53:00.004+11:00

Yes, freaking out.

The fact that I would leave familiarity of my hometown and my loved ones are starting to make me, well, freaked out.

As I wrote my list of things to bring yesterday afternoon, I started to feel the anxiety. Nervous. Nearly being emotional too. Hah! I've spent all my 20 years in Kuching and occasionally KL, especially starting last year. I'm used to being around my family, my friends, my home. Driving my car, making my way around the place that I grew up in, hanging out with friends, spending time with family..

Now, as I'm about to become 21 in a few days, I'll be going to a place where I have to get used to for a couple of years. New surrounding, new people, new everything. And believe me, I'm not really used to new everything. -_-"

I'm not being whiny. True, I'm really excited about going to further my studies. I want to live a new life in a new place. Really wanted to start being independent, to survive, to learn, all by myself. And with new friends lah. But you know..

I have to get used to all of that first. Takut, yes. Sedih, yes. Hopefully I wouldn't be too homesick. Chaiyo~ :)

good good times.

2010-01-24T01:42:00.003+11:00

Hahahahaa my recent post in this blog was quite an 'essay' lah. haha!

yada yada yada. Totally over it already. I even saw the wedding pictures, whatever~ nothing to do with me anymore, am I right? Haha. May they live happily ever after lah. ;)

So what else happening lately? Oh yes, last 19th January, we celebrated Kak Inn's birthday (she's turning 26 this year, woww hehe), along with mine also lah kot, but mine is still a week ahead (take note ppl! Hahaha). So that night's small celebration was held at Outback Steakhouse, Bangsar Village. All of us were really busy stuffing ourselves with the food and making conversations as well throughout the night (we sat at this long table so everyone had someone to talk to lah) and took lots of pictures after dinner and cake-cutting. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves tho. And so kenyanglah haha. Thanks for coming ppl! :)

Today was kinda an awesome day too coz I went out with some of my besties, Faz, Mas and Shaf.. Shaf came late so the 3 of us went for a drink and "lepak2" then watched a movie (the Jackie Chan's film The Spy Next Door; lawaklah haha). After movies we finally get to meet Shaf and I felt more and more excited coz I was able to meet my besties again, eventho not all lah. Huhu. So then we went for dinner at Carl's Jr, lepak2 loyar2 tetak2 (which were also joined by Shaf's brother and Kak San), then we proceed on going home. Feeling kinda sad tho, coz I don't actually know if I will see them again before I fly off next month, but hopefully sempat gklah :(

And oh yeah, I miss Kuching soooooo much! Really really aching to come home next week lah hopefully. I want to celebrate my birthday in Kuching. Eh eventho sekda org mok celebrate pun, its okay, I still wanna turn 21 in my hometown. Haha! :p

Okaylah wanna go to bed now, ciao!