Saturday, February 12, 2011

strange.

Manusia memang takkan pernah puas. That's a phrase that is commonly known among us. I think. Humans will never be satisfied with what they have. They will eventually wanted more, and different from before. The things that they wished hard for but never seem to expect that they're going to have it, and when they actually did, it turns out that they wanted something different after all. Or something more than that. Something better, perhaps.

As for me now. No, I don't wish for something different or better to happen to me now. I'm happy with where I am right now. It seems like I have all those that made me feel, well, content. And I should be satisfied.

But wrong. That doesn't feel right.

There are times when I feel so empty. It is simply an indescribable feeling. I've started having these sort of feelings since.. When? For a couple of years now? One year? Or for the last 6 months? I'm not so sure about that.. But yes. That feeling of emptiness. Which bothers me much. But there's nothing that I can do about it, I see. Not even having on-top-of-the-world kind of happy moments can do any wonders with this strange feeling of mine. Weird, but true.

Maybe the heart is never going to be whole again. Maybe it is permanently damaged. Who knows? Maybe that explains the emptiness. Because it already has a whole in it. A big, giant hole, with cracks and edges in it.

Hopefully it still can be fixed before its too late. Hurm.

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