I am cranky today. I may not look like I am, but deep inside, there's a whole lump of crankiness in me. Well, the reasons are:
1. Now I am super sure that I am really not cut out to be a journalist/writer/anything to do with writing skills, words, sentences, bla2. Because, I was asked to do a translation for a piece of press release yesterday and I took up the whole afternoon and this morning to actually finish it. And the result? It did NOT satisfy me at all. I think a primary school kid could do much better than me. Is it because lack of practice? Or did I just simply chose the wrong ambition all these while since I was in secondary school? Oh man. I feel so fucked up when it comes to me having to write something (if it is to be published in the paper). I am doomed. Sorry to say, I don't have the skills at all. I just have to accept it. And I think I have a different interest now. It is still in the media, but in a different direction than journalism. Hoho.
2. I have another assignment that I have to do and the date of submission is actually today but I did not manage to finish it on time. Heck, I even barely started yet. Just finished doing the introduction. Man oh man. My mind is so freakingly slow and vague lately. It somehow refused to function when it comes to doing my assignment. How am I supposed to do it?? I have to do two essays and somehow I can't even think of a single thing to write in those essays. What is happening to me? It is as if I'm slowly losing interest in my studies. Shit. This can't be happening. It is just that I am so bloody tired every day. During night time, I just wanted to go to bed early and not to think of other things besides work. That is the downfall for doing internship and going to classes and having assignments all in the same time. I feel like I'm straining here. OMG, this is,like, my last assignment for this semester and I am unable to do it. To add it up, this is the first time I could not pass my assignments on time. WHYYYYYYYYY?????
3. Lately, I am always constantly being late for practically everything. Everywhere I go, I had to rush off. Why am I having problems with my time management? How can I discipline myself to organize my time to be more effective and not to rush into one thing after another? It is just so tiredsome. And irritating too.
4. This afternoon, during the Music Club meeting at the college, I was told by one of my classmates and the club member about something that just pissed me off. Apparently, the person who I once trusted and was a very close friend of mine in college, has told that classmate of mine that she had already passed the "things" regarding the club to me. But the truth is, I haven't received any damn thing from her. The last time I saw her was weeks ago. I don't know why she went on making stories and excuses. And of course, I still couldn't understand what is happening to her since the last few months. I think I mentioned about her in one of my previous posts. Just don't change yourself completely just because of a guy, until you ignore your friends and studies. That is so a no-no. Remember this. Hmmphhh.
5. I just have to accept that one of my cats, Kimora, had gone. She is missing for nearly 2 weeks now but we refused to believe that she is gone for good. But now.. I don't know where she went. Maybe someone caught her or something. Whoever assholes who stole Kimora from us are going to pay for it. We miss her sooo much! :'(
6. And finally..... I just couldn't get him off my mind. I've waited for years already. Until when can he understands how I feel about him and would accept me in his life? I really really like you, you know that? I know that you already knew about my feelings towards you. But it kinda hurts to realize that you are not going to do anything about it. Yes, I know you treated me well. But as a friend. But I selfishly wanted more than that. Huhh. Well, I hope you'll come to your senses soon. I'll wait for you as long as I can until you want to have me in your life..
Well, there you go. My very very long list problems/dilemmas/complications that I am facing today. And also pretty much for several days already. Huhu. But, a few good things also happened today that made me feel quite okay. Hehe.
1. My picture, together with my bosses and a state minister, appeared in the front page of one of today's local paper. Several people mentioned to me about it today. Go figure. Hahahaha :p
2. Had lunch with Fidza and Marlia. Had a great time tho. Eventhough I couldn't stay for long when Marlia arrived (because she came later than me and Fidza), but we had a nice time. Its been so long since we went out together like that. It was short, but fun. I wish we could hang out more later, just like when we had the same classes together. It used to be the 4 of us, but I don't know why the situation had changed now. We were apart from each other, unlike before. Huhu. But I'm glad I still have Fidza and Marlia once in a while at college eventho we seldom see each other again because of the different classes altogether. Our next plan: To catch the Confessions of a Shopaholic together when the movie comes out. I really hope that the 4 of us can reunite and go watch the movie and just hang out, like we did before.
3. I found a new Maxis number last night and it was sooo similar to my Digi number. So I bought it right away and is using it starting from today. Eventhough both numbers are on but I am most likely to use Maxis now to make calls and sms because I haven't pay my Digi bills yet. :p hahaha
That's all for now. I didn't realize that this post becomes a really long one. I guess I have to resume to doing my assignment now *sigh* gd nite! xoxo
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