I have this "friend", you know. And this goes out to him.
Sometimes, I want to hate you so badly. I want to curse and yell at you with all my will, never wanted to hear your name ever again, never to see your face again, never even to make any more effort in getting to know you better and better.
But I know, that would be entirely impossible. Because I love you.
It hurts to just sit here and waiting. Patiently. Sometimes you made me feel special. Other times you treat me just like a friend of yours. And most of the times, well, I feel invisible in your life.
And the sad thing is, I think you'll find me ONLY if you need me.
What a life. Chasing over something (or someone) that doesn't even appreciate you. Or hoping for him or her to look at you or treat you as the same way as he or she did to other people. Sad, but true.
I hate you. Again. I hate you so much, but I somehow don't want to lose you.
Would it be better if you are far away from me? It would definitely help me to put you out of my life, you see. But now, you're here. Standing on the same land as I am now. Why couldn't I run away from you?
Sometimes I wish that I can tell you straight at your face, that I hate you and I want you to get out of my life, leave me alone, and never heard of you again. But I know I couldn't. I don't want to hurt you for saying such things. Or.. Maybe you just won't care, if I meant nothing to you.
Maybe some things are better left unsaid.
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