Its been a year.. Al-Fatihah

Today, it has been a year since my late grandfather passed away. Time flies so fast. I never even thought it would be that long. And yes it certainly is.

I remembered that day, when I my grandpa passed away in front of us, at the hospital, after nearly a month of suddenly been diagnosed with liver cancer, I cried my eyes out. I cried and cried and cried, because I know why. I admit it now.

We spent the entire night with him at the ward, my family, close friends and I, and by the time he was gone, I was actually fallen asleep for just a moment. I woke up just in time to see that he was gone, to see that he passed away in his sleep in just a matter of seconds.

I didn't get to see him drew his last breath, closed his eyes for the final time, and didn't whisper my last syahadah to his ear before he departed for ever. I was there, but I missed the final moment just because I fell asleep beside the bed, while holding his hand.

My Grandfather, Allahyarham Haji Karim bin Abeng, was a great man, too great for words. He was the father figure to me, he, together with my late Grandmother, did very well in their job in helping my mother to raise me and my siblings.

Til this day, every actions of mine in all these years of growing up that made him ever feel disappointed and angry at me, I regret them greatly. I still blame myself for not being a good enough granddaughter for him, to pay back all his good deeds towards me for my whole life.

I miss him dearly, and forever Paknek will be in my heart and my mind....

Semoga roh Allahyarham ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Al-Fatihah.

Paknek and I